She's toned down the batshit-crazy persona in favor of a more refined "eccentric" image in recent years, but this riff on ex-husband Cooley Lafoon (once again, real person, real name) from Wednesday's Late Show is classic. It's a compelling argument against marriage ... or at least marriage to Anne Heche. Right, Ellen?
Watch this, then watch Hung Sundays on HBO. It's on after the vampire show and the Hollywood bros show--it's funnier than the former and features less dick talk than the latter.