Against the Dark Martial-arts master Tao (Steven Segal!) leads a vigilante special-ops squad (!!) on a suicide mission (!!!) against post-Apocalyptic vampires (!!!!). No, he’s not too obese and sweaty to fight vamps—didn’t you see Kung Fu Panda? (Sony.com) |
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Blindness In Ultra-Depressing Julianne Moore Movie No. 87, a mass blindness epidemic sends a city into lawless chaos in a gritty allegory of man’s inhumanity to man, etc. Then come the vampires and Steven Segal and the whole thing just falls apart. (Miramax.com) |
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My Name Is Bruce Bruce Campbell stars as Bruce Campbell in the Bruce Campbell-directed My Name Is Bruce, about a drunken douchebag actor (Bruce Campbell) who saves his biggest fan’s hometown from a demon (not Bruce Campbell). (MyNameIsBruce.net) |
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Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job: Season 2 Ten more episodes of psychotic nonsense stuffed with guest stars—including Jeff Goldblum peddling “WaitMate,” a new miracle drug that helps you sleep through at least 10 episodes of Tim & Eric. Awaiting your hate mail now. (AdultSwim.com) |
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W. The not-true-but-still-quite-accurate story of former president George W. Bush’s inexplicable rise to power, aided by shady characters, and driven by daddy issues into war and recession. Maybe now you can watch it as a comedy. (Lionsgate.com) |
Listen to Bill Mondays at 8 a.m. on X96’s Radio From Hell. Bruce Campbell Watch at BillFrost.tv.