Alabama’s embryo personhood decision may have far-reaching consequences 

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The recent decision from the Alabama Supreme Court, declaring that embryos are actually people, has caused mixed reactions across our nation. Far-right zealots are claiming that there’s biblical support for the stretched definition of what constitutes a human being, while those who walk and pee like the rest of us are calling it a judicial outrage.

In a remarkable disregard for women’s rights, Alabama’s highest court decided in an overwhelming 8-1 decision, that “extra-uterine” embryos being stored for the purpose of in-vitro fertilization (IVF), should be considered human lives. The case opened the doors for an Alabama couple, whose frozen embryos had been accidentally lost in a storage facility accident, to sue the IVF clinic and storage facility for “wrongful death.”

It wasn’t like Alabama’s court system had no intelligent and thinking judges. An earlier court decision had firmly declared that the embryos were neither people nor children—a fundamental of the language in the 14th Amendment. That amendment specifically states that a person becomes a citizen at birth, which clearly supports the accepted expectation that an unborn fetus does not have the same rights as a citizen.

What’s the 14th Amendment worth? Apparently nothing. Fueled by extremists and the radically religious, Alabama overturned the lower court’s decision and effectively disavowed the U.S. Constitution.

Those who had earlier considered the declarations that fetuses, in the earliest stages, were people—and that abortions were indeed a type of murder—are now choking on just how ludicrous the far-right inspired court decisions have become. Even among some of the most over-the-top Christian Evangelical, drivers of SCOTUS’s aberrative actions over who controls women’s bodies, there are a fair number who have been choking on this latest legal expedition into the world of the ridiculous.

The SCOTUS decision overturning Roe v. Wade disenfranchised the “gentler sex” from dominion over their own bodies, but the Alabama decision suggests that Fascism and Christian Nationalism, as America’s new form of government, are just around the corner.

Pretty soon, the courts will rule that the Bible’s condemnation of semen, spilled on the ground, is a cardinal sin and should be punishable with extended incarcerations and, depending on just how many millions of sperms were involved, the forfeiture of the condemned man’s life. That would be an expansion of capital punishment that few Americans can fathom.

Eggs, of course, fall into an entirely different category, simply because they can’t swim and have no thought processes to tell them where to go, something that places sperm into an entirely different category of life. That idea that male masturbation may now be in question, is, of course, an outlandish stretch into Bibleland. But we really need to ask ourselves just how far the radicalization of America can go. It seems that those who are mostly powered by religious zealotry are guiding the future of America’s women and families.

The embryo decision is now having even more fallout, and the government is worried about the possible impacts on its budget and resources.

Over 400,000 embryos have now petitioned the government to allow them to unionize, and, because their future housing arrangements may be in jeopardy, they are also asking to be officially included as endangered American minorities under the current legislation. Eighty-six of them have also filed a suit in California demanding that, should the electricity be interrupted to the freezers they now reside in, special provisions should be made for any who become homeless. They’ve cited that since they’re unable to set up their own tents, government employees should be assigned to assist them in establishing temporary housing.

Also mentioned in a recent petition to the courts, the embryos are demanding that, because of the absence of brains and limbs, they be entitled to special laws relating to disabilities, and that would include automatic access to Medicaid. Arguing that their disabilities make it virtually impossible to earn a living, they’ve launched a massive campaign requesting government entities, churches and charitable organizations to house them, provide wheelchairs, hearing aids and optical services. As for the churches, the embryos have demanded that they be treated like all other people, including allowing them to participate in all the rites of the church—particularly having a nibble of the bread and a tiny sip of the wine during Sunday services.

In another related development, the admissions department of Harvard has complained that it’s being overwhelmed by applications from masses of the smartest embryos, claiming that there is no excuse for discriminating against any prospective students, regardless of their physical size. Dr. Will Day Lettamin, who chairs admissions, has complained that Harvard simply doesn’t have the resources to deal with the vast numbers of embryo applicants. Also related is a petition to the Mensa Society to allow bright embryos to take the standard test.

I don’t know about you, but this is all very disturbing. At least for now, I’m going to be very careful, adding microscopically effective weatherstripping to the doors and windows of my house (available from the Wuhan laboratory), and not answering the doorbell for anyone under one-micron in size.

The author is a retired businessman, novelist, columnist and former Vietnam-era Army assistant public information officer. He resides in Riverton with his wife, Carol, and their adorable and ferocious dog “Poppy.” comments@cityweekly.net