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The Walking Dead
Sunday, Oct. 16 (AMC)
Season Premiere: With Season 1 director Frank Darabont famously fired and production budgets reportedly slashed by AMC, can a 13-episode second season of zombie-apocalypse epic The Walking Dead live up to the (maybe just a little over-) hyped standard of the six-ep first? The season premiere, the 90-minute “What Lies Ahead” (shot when Darabont was still around, before new showrunner Glen Mazzara took over), is a worthy stunner that answers few Season 1 questions (What did Jenner whisper to Rick in last year’s finale? Not yet.) and raises even more for the coming weeks (How long before the survivors turn on one another?). And about those weeks: This season of The Walking Dead will be split in two, the first half ending Nov. 27 and the second not kicking off until Feb. 12, 2012. A tough wait, but you’ll still have a few Sundays this year to get your zombie on with Big Shiny Robot and Brewvies (677 S. 200 West, 21-plus), which are once again presenting The Walking Dead on the big screen, free at 8 p.m. Presuming there’s no full-frontal zombie nudity coming, that is.
Secretly Pregnant
Thursday, Oct. 13 (Discovery Fit & Health)
Series Debut: This is just to let you know that there’s a new series on Discovery Fit & Health, a channel ostensibly dedicated to fitness and healthiness, called Secretly Pregnant. This new show, from the same conglomerate of networks that brings you invaluable educational programming like I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant, Toddlers & Tiaras, Sister Wives and so many, many more, tells the stories of “women who remain secretly pregnant to protect themselves and their loved ones.” And you’re going to watch it, anyway.
Puppies vs. Babies
Saturday, Oct. 15 (Animal Planet)
Series Debut: This is just to let you know that there’s a new series on Animal Planet, a channel ostensibly dedicated to animals, called Puppies vs. Babies. This new show, from the same conglomerate of networks that brings you invaluable educational programming like Secretly Pregnant and so many, many more, pits viewer-submitted newborns and “zooborns” against each other with a full hour of “judging panels ranging from experts to comedians and even people off the streets … taking the vote to the masses and settling this showdown once and for all!” And you’re going to watch it, anyway.
Why Am I Still Single?!
Sunday, Oct. 16 (VH1)
Series Debut: This is just to let you know that there’s a new series on VH1 called Why Am I Still Single?! This new show, from the same network that brings you 24-hour programming about spendy ’hos married to unemployed basketball players, is centered around “New York’s most successful matchmaker,” Siggy Flicker. No, a Siggy Flicker isn’t an adult novelty toy: She’s an obnoxious “professional” whose “profession” only exists on reality TV (see: Millionaire Matchmaker). And even you’re not going to watch it.
American Hoggers
Wednesday, Oct. 19 (A&E)
Series Debut: This is just to let you know that there’s a new series on A&E, a channel ostensibly dedicated to arts and entertainment, called American Hoggers. This new show, from the same conglomerate of networks that brings you invaluably artsy and entertaining programming like Billy the Exterminator, Dance Moms, Hoarders and so many, many more, follows a family of flamboyantly inbred rednecks on “their struggle to rescue Texas residents and ranches from the devastating chaos caused by millions of invasive wild boars.” And you’re going to watch it, anyway.
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