City Weekly's year-end guide to getting through the holidays and closing out those Christmas lists. 

• Cover by Derek Carlisle

Gifts of the Wise(?) Men

Well folks, we've made it through another year.

As I write this introduction to City Weekly's 2023 Gift Guide, the sky above me, seen through the office skylight, is thick and gray and even with the aid of whatever air filtration the Axis Building provides, I can taste it in my throat. Perhaps it's fitting—a smoggy end to a sloggy year.

With any luck, the air has cleared by the time this issue reaches you, and you're entering December excited for the adventures that lie ahead, energized by a 2023 that was bright and colorful and pushed you in ways that made you stronger.

Sure, Salt Lake City is still in the hangover of an exhausting election—crammed into Thanksgiving week by the ever-disappointing, now-former Congressman Chris Stewart. And yeah, we've been relentlessly beset by construction for what feels like our entire lives.

But damn it, this city rocks! And there's no better time to pay back the love SLC has given us all than at the holidays. Got family in town? Take them to your favorite joint! Got gifts to buy? The internet is toxic; walk into a neighborhood shop and put your dollars to work locally! Filled to the brim with righteous wrath over the moral and political failings of our state, national and global leaders? It's OK, you're among friends!

In the following pages, our writers offer inspiration for getting to January, with books to read, boutique shopping suggestions, gift ideas related to Utah's food scene and reminders that it's OK to take a break from the hustle and bustle and treat yourself. You'll also find ads from local retailers, ready and waiting to address your holiday shopping, dining and entertainment needs.

And in the spirit of gratitude, allow me to say "thank you" to the State of Utah for its recent contributions to our great city, which include:

Ranked-choice Voting
Even if you still don't buy into the upsides of ranked-choice voting (less taxpayer expense, more civil campaigning, mathematically assured consensus victories, etc.), Salt Lake City's now-two election cycles under this balloting format have demonstrated that there's really no downside. The Utah Legislature allowed cities to test out RCV under a pilot program that will expire unless it is actively extended or codified. Not only was the Salt Lake City Council right to participate, lawmakers should make it a permanent option available to municipalities (if not used for statewide elections as well).

State Street Mid-block Crossings
Did you know that Salt Lake City can't make alterations to State Street, of any kind, without the permission and oversight of the Utah Department of Transportation? It's called "State" Street for a reason, and it's one of the deadliest stretches of asphalt in all of Utah. So when you see (and hopefully use) the new crosswalk at Gallivan Avenue or the under-construction crossing between The Bayou and The State Room, understand that those seemingly minor, but very much necessary, interventions came only after years of lobbying and only after a sufficient amount of pedestrian death had occurred under federal highway guidelines that are, at best, deeply flawed.

Rep. Celeste Maloy
Elections are stressful, for everyone, so maybe Utah lawmakers did Salt Lakers a kindness by preempting our ability to select meaningful representation in Congress and just deciding our "leaders" for us (that's about the only other explanation beyond "naked partisan gerrymandering"). Sure, most of us had never heard Celeste Maloy's name until she became our de facto congresswoman in September. But on the flip side, it's not like we need to bother to get to know her, either—smart money says we won't be seeing her around town any time soon.

2034 Olympic Winter Games
Does it ever feel like everything in Salt Lake City is, like, 20 years old? It basically is, since the 2002 Olympics triggered the last major capital improvement period in Utah and before the 2008 financial crisis slammed the brakes on state spending in a way that we've never really bounced back from. But like the cicada, which emerge out of the dirt en masse after years of dormancy, Utah is going for the gold once more, and you better believe that the governor and Legislature intend to clean up the house before company arrives.

Bon Appétit!
Local books, classes, ingredients and gadgets for cooking in Utah.
Gift Guide 2023
By Aimee L. Cook

As the festive season draws near, it's time to think about gifts for our loved ones. And why not mark the occasion with gourmet gifts that have their own local charm?

Below is a gift guide curated for the foodies in your life, highlighting some of Utah's best local products and artisanal delights.

For the Book Lover
Valter of Salt Lake City: The Magic of the Table by Elaine Bapis: Winner in the Coffee-table Book and Regional Cookbook categories by The NYC Big Book Awards, this book, published in 2018, describes the culinary journey of local legend, the late Valter Nassi (of Valter's Osteria). Illustrated with more than 100 stunning photographs that depict Nassi's 50-year journey from the hills of Tuscany to the safari capital of Kenya and beyond, Nassi's narratives offer readers a unique insight into the experiences behind each dish he served, giving a heartfelt understanding of the vibrant food culture and the remarkable individuals who contribute to it.
Find at: valterofslc.com

Enjoy! by Lisa Childs (@tried_test_true): With more than 100 pressure-cooker recipes from breakfast dishes to desserts, this cookbook will help you gain confidence and time while using a pressure cooker or Instand Pot. Each recipe is accompanied by photos, professional tips and a QR code that leads to a detailed blog packed with additional insights, substitution suggestions, freezing instructions and more.
Find at: triedtestedandtrue.com

Let's Eat Cookies: A Collection of the Best Cookie Recipes by Maria Lichty (@twopeasandpod): This book is both practical and visually appealing, with nine delectable cookie chapters featuring new recipes. Each recipe is accompanied by a beautiful photograph, showcasing the artistry of cookie creation. Lichty shares her best tips and tricks for achieving the perfect cookie and recommendations for kitchen and baking supplies.
Find at: flagship.shop/twopeastheirpod/products/22882

All You Can Greek by Eleni Saltas: Featuring 65 meticulously crafted recipes from Eleni Saltas (daughter of City Weekly's founder, John Saltas), this cookbook gives a taste of Greek favorites with its dips, salads, spanakopita and comforting avgolemeno soup. It also includes a glossary of Greek culinary terms, enthralling travel sections highlighting Greek beaches and monasteries and even a chapter on life lessons that celebrate the essence of Greek culture.
Find it at: elenisaltas.kostizi.com/Microsite/9485

For Gourmet Ingredients
Mico's Micro Farm Home Microgreens Kit: Microgreens offer concentrated flavors and essential nutrients that enrich your meals and your well-being. Packed with vitamins, minerals and antioxidants, microgreens surpass their fully grown counterparts in nutrient density. Not only are they a delicious way to fortify your diet, they look great as a garnish. This home kit has everything you need to grow microgreens at home.
Find it at: micosmicrofarm.com

Beltex Meats: This local butcher shop proudly offers pasture-raised, hormone-free, locally sourced meats, from Berkshire pork to Wagyu beef. Take advantage of their house-made sausages and bone broths for your next dinner. But hurry; availability changes frequently. 511 E. 900 South, SLC, 801-532-2641,
beltexmeats.com

Beehive Cheese: Great meals often start and end with cheese, which is why a variety of sliced cheese on a charcuterie board or an elevated mac 'n' cheese casserole are always crowd pleasers. Whether it's the creaminess of Seahive or the elevated flavors of Teahive, Beehive's high-quality cheeses are always sought after and appreciated as gifts. Available at various local grocers.
beehivecheese.com

Ritual Chocolate: Drinking chocolates, chocolate bars and cacao nibs make the best gifts for the chocolate lover or baker on your list. The handcrafted small-batch bean-to-bar chocolate is pure joy. Available at various local grocers and specialty markets.
ritualchocolate.com

Cooking Classes to Up Your Game
Orson Gygi: Classes here cater to all skill levels and are taught by qualified instructors offering an engaging and personalized learning experience in small class sizes. Participants receive hands-on instruction for a variety of culinary techniques from pizza making to decorating cakes, and much more. 3500 S. 300 West, SLC, 801-268-3316,
gygicookingclasses.com

Park City Culinary Institute: For those who wish to take their cooking skills to a professional level, give the gift of a class or a comprehensive certificate program. The institute's programs offer a cuisine certificate as well as a pastry and baking certificate. They provide hands-on training to teach foundational cooking and baking skills. This includes mastering professional knife handling, technical cuts, food science and classical and modern cooking techniques. The certificate can be earned over a 10-week course or part-time over a period of four months. 1484 S. State, SLC, 801-413-2800,
parkcityculinaryinstitute.com

SLICE: Do you or someone near and dear to you wish to be the best pie maker in the family? Salt Lake Culinary Education aims to enhance your culinary skills and boost self-confidence through engaging and informative classes. Whether you're a novice or an experienced cook, the in-person culinary classes provide the knowledge and techniques needed to create world-class meals at home. 2233 S. 300 East, SLC, 801-464-0113,
sliceutah.com

Harmons Cooking School: Available at multiple locations, Harmons' fun and low-stress cooking classes offer numerous culinary instructions. Classes—from crafting a cheese and grazing board, to rolling your own sushi, to perfecting delicate macarons—cater to a variety of age groups and skill levels. There are courses for Little Chefs (age 5 to 8) and Junior Chefs (age 6 and up), as well as adult-oriented courses with wine and liquor pairings taught by a team of talented chefs. Experience the art of cooking with ease.
harmonsgrocery.com/cooking-school

Gadgets for the Outdoor Cook
Note: You can find the following items at BBQ Pit Stop (6212 S. State, Murray, 801-314-7173, bbqpitstop.com) and various retail locations around Utah.

Traeger Grills: The company that invented the original wood-fired grill also offers a pellet grill/smoker—a great introduction for outdoor cook enthusiasts who want to elevate their game. Traeger Grills come in various sizes and include WIfire technology that you control with an app—no babysitting required—which is especially helpful with a long smoke, such as a brisket. The app also includes step-by-step recipes.
traeger.com

Gozney: With two styles and sizes, this on-the-go oven gives pizza lovers a reason to rejoice, especially for those who love to cook outdoors or in a remote setting. Gozney's portability and ease of cooking with propane make it an excellent choice. In addition to pizza, this versatile oven cooks a perfect steak in a cast-iron skillet using Gozney's high-temperature capabilities.
https://us.gozney.com

Thermapen: With readings in mere seconds, this cooking thermometer is just what you need so you never serve undercooked or overcooked foods again.
thermoworks.com/classic-thermapen

Bear Paws: Created by Jordan Checketts, a local BBQ aficionado, Bear Paws offer the perfect solution for effortlessly shredding meat. The ultra-sharp "claws" allow for handling and shredding of pork, chicken, beef and more. Made with BPA-free nylon, these easy-to-use, FDA-approved tools are meltproof and dishwasher safe, withstanding temperatures up to 475 degrees. Featured on BBQ Pitmasters, Guy Fieri's Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, and America's Test Kitchen.
thebbqbutler.com

A handy to-read list for Utah lawmakers doubles as gift ideas for the politico bookworm in your life.
Gift Guide 2023
By Katharine Biele

Utah legislators like to carry a U.S Constitution around in their pockets, so we can assume they do read occasionally. It's not much of a stretch to say that some think they can channel the Founding Fathers—like they could activate their flux capacitors whenever they want to tell us what the FFs meant by some particular phrase.

With the legislative session around the corner in January, City Weekly has prepared a list of reading materials to help lawmakers in the Beehive State get up to speed on how government in the United States is intended to function—you know, separation of powers, civil rights, that sort of thing.

And if you're not a member of the Utah House or Senate, try checking out a few of these titles yourself. Last we checked, none of them had been banned in Utah ... yet.

Ready, Aim, Fire!
Search no further, legislators. Author Ben Sheehan is here to help, and so are we with this special holiday gift for the would-be constitutional expert. No need for a crystal ball with OMG WTF Does the Constitution Really Say?: A Non-Boring Guide to How Our Democracy Is Supposed to Work. And for those of you concerned about the "F-word," Sheehan offers a children's version. Start them young!

U.S. Sen. Mike Lee has devoted an entire section of his website to "Protecting the Second Amendment." He thinks the Supreme Court was right to say "the right to keep and bear arms" was a guarantee for individuals, not militias.

Sheehan has read the Second Amendment's text "more times than I honestly thought I would," and he's got some questions, like what does the phrase about "well-regulated" militias mean? Are we talking about just militia members owning guns?

When the Second Amendment was written, those "milita" guys were typically between 18-44, free, able-bodied and white. Oh, and there have been only six Supreme Court rulings on Second Amendment cases since 1875, and half of those have occurred since 2008. Ask yourself why.

We will talk about another book for you later when author Kurt Andersen also tackles the Constitution. Meanwhile, here is a sampling of what Andersen has to say on the subject of gun rights: "One set of fantasies—the one that recast owning guns as among the most important rights, as American liberty and individualism incarnate. During my lifetime, the love of guns has become a fetish. It is picking our pockets and definitely breaking our legs."

Sheehan also talks about the Equal Rights Amendment and the logjam that has kept it from passing. We're talking to you, legislators.

Bindings Full of Women
As long as we're on the ERA, how about reading The Republican War Against Women: An Insider's Report From Behind the Lines by Tanya Melich. Sure, it was written before the 1996 election, but you might ask yourselves how come the GOP didn't seem to pay attention?

Melich—who, by the way, has a strong Utah connection—has been a Republican Party official, worked on many GOP campaigns and co-founded the Republican Women's movement.

"The Republican Party of my youth no longer exists," she says.

What else characterized the 1996 GOP candidates? They argued that government should dictate reproductive choice, should not help with child care and should do away with Affirmative Action. Fast-forward to 2023: Done!

Speaking of women, we (maybe Amazon) are giving our legislators copies of The Turnaway Study: The Cost of Denying Women Access to Abortion by Diana Greene Foster. It comes with a complimentary wire hanger, the GOP's top choice for unlawful abortions.

The book is "the landmark study of the consequences on women's lives—emotional, physical, financial, professional, personal and psychological—of receiving versus being denied an abortion."

Legislators don't like to think about those things because it's all too messy and really doesn't concern men, who primarily are the ones writing the laws. And this book is data-driven, which typically drives Republicans away.

Dumbing Down
We also recognize that our lawmakers swoon over the late actor and president Ronald Reagan. Reagan's name is often invoked, sometimes even by liberals, to try to soften the blows of Republican governance.

That said, we're gifting legislators Andy Borowitz's now-in-paperback book Profiles in Ignorance–How America's Politicians Got Dumb and Dumber. Of the Gipper, Borowitz says, "Reagan was more responsible for the rise of ignorance than for the fall of communism."

That should get you reading. Or this. "Not so long ago, it was less than ideal for an American politician to seem like a dumbass. If a candidate's stupidity became too glaring, the consequences could be dire: derision, contempt and electoral oblivion," Borowitz writes. "In the mid-1960s, a candidate clip-clopped into town and though possessing a puny saddlebag of knowledge, stuck to a script that fooled enough of the people enough of the time. It helped that he'd spent years on Hollywood soundstages memorizing lines and performing them with spectacular sincerity, even when acting opposite a chimp. His name was Ronald Reagan, and it's in no small part thanks to him that today we can say: It's Moronic in America."

The Melting Pot
And finally—or maybe not finally—two books by Kurt Andersen, which you all should read from cover to cover, unless they have been banned at your local library. In that case, definitely try Amazon for True Believers: A Novel, and Fantasyland: How America Went Haywire—a 500-Year History.

Here's a sampling, and we're sure you will be enthralled by the reference to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints: "America was created by true believers and passionate dreamers, by hucksters and their suckers—which over the course of four centuries has made us susceptible to fantasy, as epitomized by everything from Salem hunting witches to Joseph Smith creating Mormonism, from P.T. Barnum to Henry David Thoreau to speaking in tongues, from Hollywood to Scientology to conspiracy theories, from Walt Disney to Billy Graham to Ronald Reagan to Oprah Winfrey to Donald Trump."

Andersen continues: "In other words, mix epic individualism with extreme religion; mix show business with everything else; let all that steep and simmer for a few centuries ; run it through the anything-goes 1960s and the Internet age; the result is the America we inhabit today, where reality and fantasy are weirdly and dangerously blurred and commingled."

Today, many believe with all their heart that the United States was founded by Christians and should be a Christian nation—kind of like the Taliban in reverse. Some lawmakers want Utah to be an LDS-GOP haven, too. So we are suggesting lawmakers review a copy of Utah's Gerrymandered Map of Voting Districts to remind them of their success in this area.

Andersen is not a big fan of religion and how it has consumed America. "America was the dreamworld creation of fantasists, some religious and some out to get rich quick, all with a freakish appetite for the amazing. ... America was founded by a nutty religious cult. Puritans." We're not saying that Mormons are Puritans, but you get the idea.

And we are sure you have all read the Utah State Constitution, but just in case, we will send you a blurb to frame and hang on your wall.

Article I, Section 4.  [Religious liberty.]

 The rights of conscience shall never be infringed. The State shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; no religious test shall be required as a qualification for any office of public trust or for any vote at any election; nor shall any person be incompetent as a witness or juror on account of religious belief or the absence thereof. There shall be no union of Church and State, nor shall any church dominate the State or interfere with its functions. No public money or property shall be appropriated for or applied to any religious worship, exercise or instruction, or for the support of any ecclesiastical establishment.

In the spirit of the season, Utah politicians should ask themselves if their campaign flyers and social media posts should always mention LDS affiliation. We know who and what you are. Happy Holidays!

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Try these Utah stocking stuffers to gift big joy in small packages
Gift Guide 2023
By Carolyn Campbell

Gifting time can be stressful for many Utahns, but not Courtney Williams, who created her own business to bring a personal touch to promotional items like custom hats, mugs and T-shirts.

"It's my passion project," said the owner and founder of Promote It Utah (7324 Union Park Ave., Midvale, 385-557-8300, promoteitutah.com) "There is nothing like giving something to someone that makes them feel like you have thought about them."

When it comes to gifting, Williams suggests starting the process by "meaningful listening" in the company of someone you like or love.

"Pay attention to what they say in passing. It could be something as simple as being together in Target, seeing a box of stationery, and hearing them say, 'I like that,'" Williams said.

She said small gifts, such as handwritten greeting cards, can originate everywhere. "With digital communication being so common these days, writing the card by hand, sticking a stamp on it, and mailing it, can be very impactful," Williams said.

More for Less
Big gift-giving success can originate with small gifts, says Mary Lindsey, proprietress of Everything Utah (311 S. State, SLC, 801-518-0130, everythingut.com).

"Sometimes people appreciate a meaningful small gift as much as something that is over the top," Lindsey explained.

When Lindsey opened her gift and souvenir store in 2017, she aimed to showcase the Utah experience through various lenses. By reaching out to local artists and artisans, she has created a unique gift assortment that could serve as stocking stuffers or small gifts for a friend or family member. "There is no set budget for a stocking stuffer, although it's common to spend less on a stocking stuffer than a wrapped present," Lindsey said. "Generally, you can pay $10 to $50 for stocking stuffer gifts."

From custom-made travel mirrors to locally made Native American necklaces and rings to delicious food items such as local jams, chocolate and coffee, Lindsey sells many Everything Utah gifts as reasonably priced as under $10. Many others cost less than $25.

Everything Utah's signature candles come in two sizes, and the store also offers "fun little sculptures, and there's a small desert garden that would fit in a stocking."

Lindsey also noted the local minerals sold in her store, which carry "a meaning and connection to place" for outdoors recreationists. One mineral, honeycomb calcite, is a mystical stone found only in Utah's high Uinta mountains.

Legend dictates that cultivating this "powerful and romantic wishing stone calms the mind and body and manifests the owner's desires," says Lindsey, who sells the stone in various forms. She adds that honeycomb calcite is now the official Utah State stone.

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• The Store’s Wonderland

Comfort and Cheer
People love receiving small things when the giver says, "This made me think of you," confirms Lindsay Niederhauser, store manager at The Store's Wonderland (4695 Holladay Blvd., Holladay, 801-938-9802).

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• The Soap Lady

Wonderland sells local jewelry, such as colorful beaded Stax bracelets, Katie Waltman necklaces and earrings, and Made by Mary necklaces, including chokers, chains, pendants and lockets.

Other stocking stuffers Niederhauser suggests include hair clips and accessories, small satin pillowcases, and old-fashioned Red Button and Hammond's seasonal candies. Wonderland also features 100% glycerin soap from The Soap Lady (502 W. 8360 South, 385-645-4095, thesoaplady.net), a Utah family business that began in 1996.

"Our most popular products are bath bombs, soap slices and shower steamers," says Soap Lady general manager Kalena Delliskave. "With our sugar scrubs, you start with a whipped soap base and add sugar for a gentle exfoliation. Once the sugar dissolves, you have a creamy body wash made with coconut oil, Vitamin E and aloe vera oil."

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• Tabula Rasa

Tabula Rasa (Trolley Square, 602 E. 500 South, Ste. D124, SLC, 801-575-5043, tabularasastationers.com) opened in 1985 selling writing implements and paper. While pens and pencils remain fun stocking stuffers from Tabula Rasa today, store manager Eric Stewart explains that the store's current Trolley Square location now offers many more small gifts than when they first opened. As one example, Tabula Rasa sells matchbox puzzles for $6.

"There are 15 mini puzzles, each in its little matchbox," says Stewart. "They are top-notch and fun and make great little gifts."

Tabula Rasa offers French hard candy "in interesting flavors like violet, rose honey and poppy," says Stewart. Their European soaps feature unusual fragrances such as persimmon, red currant and basil lime mandarin.

"I think the thought that goes into a gift is more important than the monetary value," says Stewart.

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• Retro Betty

Blasts from the Past
Retro Betty (2327 E. 3300 South, Millcreek, 801-467-2222, retrobettyslc.com) and Cabin Fever (Trolley Square, 801-363-0828) are treasure troves of retro gifts that bring back happy memories and create present-day fun. Nostalgic stocking stuffers, especially vintage ones, give off a good feeling, says Amanda Parrish, owner of Retro Betty.

Her top 2023 seller is a Santaur ornament—a Santa with a centaur body. Her ornament inventory includes Harry Styles, Post Malone and George Michael ornaments. Feel free to accompany these with Retro Betty's old-fashioned plug-in bubble lights.

The store sells cocktail napkins with snarky sayings—like "Merry Christmas, Bitches!"—and has a hilarious assortment of gum in boxes with phrases such as "How about a pack of 'shut the hell up?'" and "Get along with your co-workers."

If you open the back cover of a comic book from the 1970s or '80s and read the advertising there, you might see the fun retro items Cabin Fever sells today. There are pet rocks, mood rings, hand buzzers, candy necklaces, Silly Putty, sea monkeys and lava lamps. They have eight flavors of Lip Lickers, a lip balm from the 1970s.

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• Cabin Fever

Cabin Fever also sells mini-versions of toys from the past, such as Stretch Armstrong and the Operation game.

"We have a huge array of blown glass ornaments and humorous socks," says David Owens, an employee. "One woman's sock says, 'I will support you like an underwire bra.'" He adds that all Cabin Fever merchandise—from the mood lipstick to the red Fortune Teller Fish that bends in your hand—is hand-curated by employees within the store.

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• Shadow Breeze

"Thoughtful gifting allows you to build and strengthen the important relationships in your life," says Matt Graham, co-founder of Shadow Breeze (695 N. Kays Drive, Ste. 5, Kaysville, 844- 994-4387, shadowbreeze.com), a corporate and consumer gifting company focused on gift design and personalization. "Often, the sentiment behind the gift matters more than the gift itself."

Stocking stuffers are undersize, usually inexpensive presents that fill the "this made me think of you" list. Their description varies among many adjectives; some are humorous, some are cute and some are useful.

Whatever their genre, they'll make your giftee's days a bit happier even after the holiday season is over.

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Tips for keeping family relations, and your stress level, on an even keel during the holidays.
Gift Guide 2023
By Carolyn Campbell

We all have Christmas dreams. We imagine a house adorned with seasonal decor, a gorgeous tree with gifts that fill our children and grandchildren with joy, a table full of delicious food, and the leisure to relax and make memories.

But excitement about celebrating the winter holidays is often tempered by a secret, underlying fear: "How will we ever survive another family party?"

Along with the demands of attending events, buying gifts and decorating the home is the expectation that we will spend quality time with relatives. Maybe we think our family experiences more conflict than others, assuming that every other family is perfect. "We often compare our 'inside' reality with their apparent 'outside' perfection," says Brent Pace, a local psychotherapist.

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• “There’s often an unspoken goal of making this Christmas better than last year and living up to previous traditions.”—Brent Pace

Though your family may appear to be the only one that experiences seasonal strife, Pace said "the truth is, we are all like that, and many families have meltdowns at this time of year."

He and other experts suggest various tips for surviving the holidays and keeping your family on an even keel during this stressful season.

Set Realistic Expectations
The holidays are a time of high expectations and tension, according to Pace. "There's often an unspoken goal of making this Christmas better than last year and living up to previous traditions," he said. "We need to realize that we are not here to try to outspend each other or show each other our love through the gifts we give. We can lower our expectations and realize that everything doesn't have to be picture-perfect. Particularly considering the current financial crisis, rather than seeking the perfect meal, outfit, and Santa, we can decide that our goal is to spend time with the people we love and enjoy each other's company."

Take Care of Yourself
During the holidays, while taking care of everybody and everything else, take a few minutes daily to take care of yourself, too. "Whatever it takes–a few minutes alone, a manicure, a walk, a haircut, exercise with a friend, a bubble bath or reading a chapter or two of a good book—a few minutes to yourself every day will make all the difference for everyone," said Sherri Caldwell, founder of rebelhousewife.com.

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• “Take time to play those peekaboo games with your grandchild and read simple picture books.”—Cheryl Wright

Simplify Your Schedule
Take a step back when you need to, and feel free to say "no" when you sense you are overbooking your schedule, Pace said. "Celebrating doesn't mean you need to abuse your body. You can also plan how much you will eat or drink at the party."

Simplifying expectations and demands helps parents and grandparents keep quality time a priority during the hectic holidays, said Cheryl Wright, as associate professor at the University of Utah. "Christmas is a time to drop all the to-do lists. Do half of what you anticipate you will do," she said. "Take time to play those peekaboo games with your grandchild and read simple picture books."

Let Things Happen
The holidays may feel sad, lonely and isolated because of an "anniversary reaction," Pace said. "If someone passed away during the holidays, they can remain a grim reminder."

Because of this potential sadness, Pace advises being gentle to both yourself and to your family members. "Sometimes, we only get to see certain family members once a year," he said. "If this is that time, spend time just talking rather than concentrating on the perfect pumpkin pie."

Set a Positive Tone
Offering compliments is a great way to set the tone for a family gathering, Pace said. "Always look for the positive."

He adds that humor is an excellent tool to keep people at ease. He also suggests remembering that a family gathering is a rare occasion that may never occur again.

"We can remind ourselves that we chose to be here and want to be with our family," he said. "Think thoughts such as—'this could be the last time I get to have this experience,' or 'This may be the last year I get to be with my sister.'"

Lose Battles to Win Wars
The holidays are a time to take the high road, Pace said. "If we are competitive and have sibling rivalry, this isn't a bad time to set those disagreements aside and agree to disagree," he said. "You are better off at the end of the night if you keep the peace rather than getting engaged in conflict and heated discussions when all holiday pressures come to bear."

The holidays may bring people together who are on different sides of the political aisle, or who have differing opinions on child-rearing. "We don't have to go to every fight we're invited to," Pace said.

He suggests avoiding the words "always," "never," and "ever." "These are fighting terms in relationships generally—a way of throwing down the gauntlet." Instead, Pace advises the use of "I feel" messages to talk about our views and feelings. "That way, we own a statement," he said. "It's ours, and we aren't accusing the other person of causing the problem."

Offer Yourself an Escape
Use the "buddy system" to ask your spouse or another family member to help stave off potential arguments by facilitating your escape. "If they see you getting upset or red in the face, they can pull you aside and remind you that it's not worth it to get mad," Pace said, "that you've had that issue for seven years, and it isn't going to get resolved tonight."

If your buddy sees you in the middle of an argument, code words or phrases like "we left that package out in the car," can be useful to allow yourself out of a situation, Pace said. "Then you both walk out to the car together."

He added that every house has a sanctuary—the bathroom. "If you find yourself in an argument or need to get your wits about yourself, you can always go to that place, lock the door and regroup," he said. "You can remind yourself of what matters."

Consider a Short Visit
If you are planning to visit a family member and expect the experience to be a little risky because of tension or conflict, shorten the visit in advance, Pace advised. "Rather than going to dinner together, say something to indicate that the available time is limited, such as 'we have to be across town in an hour,'" he said. "Keeping the visit shorter instantly decreases the chance of a problem.

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Never Discipline Someone Else's Children
Although this advice sounds obvious, Pace said it's amazing how many family fights he's seen when this happens. "If the kids are obnoxious, let the parents take care of it."

Consider Helping Others
With the increased number of foreclosures and homeless people, there are more Utahns than ever who could use help during the holiday season. Some of Pace's family members have chosen to avoid competitive and expensive gift-giving by volunteering at the homeless shelter in recent years. "Instead of worrying about just the right tree and the right lights," he said, "we choose to find a family that we can help out."

Give the Grandchildren a Break
Caldwell said that if grandchildren or other extended family members are staying with you for a few days during the holidays, give yourself and the kids a break and turn on the TV. She suggested that grandparents pop a bag of popcorn and snuggle up with the kids for quality holiday time.

"It's the only time of year that TV stations play the wholesome family classics such as Frosty the Snowman and The Grinch almost 24 hours daily," she said. "If you don't have them on video or DVD, get them."