Donald Trump’s next act promises to include magic 

It's time for liberals, progressives, Democrats, Independents and just about everybody else to recognize that we owe the once and future king, Donald Trump, a big thank you and vote of gratitude—where else can you get entertainment like this?

It's so sidesplitting and hilarious that it belongs in the pantheon of comedy slapstick right alongside It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World and Dr. Strangelove. He would even make Shakespeare envious, although his work skews more toward King Lear than Much Ado About Nothing. What genius it takes to appeal to both hedge fund managers and coal miners, to yachtsmen and bikers, to white nationalists and bigots.

For some, he appears as A Man for All Seasons, although for many he recalls The Madness of King George. In any event he leaves his audiences on the edge of their seats, as though unable to turn away from a bloody accident accompanied by an organ grinder and monkey.

Despite Trump’s age, the hits just keep coming. His latest productions, “Hush Money for the Harlot,” “I Have a Secret” and “Winning Through Intimidation,” look to be blockbusters. Reminiscent of escape artist Harry Houdini, Donald's next act promises to include magic—or at least magical thinking: “I'm an Innocent Man.”

Pride Bus Drives GOP Lawmakers Over the Edge
Now don't go thinking our nice, white, Mormon legislators have queerphobia. Not at all. When they flipped out over a Utah Transit Authority bus sporting an ad that said “Work with Pride” and scheduled to run in the Utah Pride Parade, it was to make sure that state taxpayer-funded entities follow their “true mission”—not because they're bigoted culture warriors.

The bus ad was paid for by two local advertising agencies, ran in last year's parade and was in service until June 2 of this year, when all hell broke loose. “This is causing me a whole bunch of drama right now inside my caucus,” Utah House Majority Leader Mike Schultz, R-Hooper, texted to a UTA boss. When asked, he told the Deseret News: “[I]f we have state agencies that continue to go into the areas that are controversial, then all things would be on the table.” Yeah, like their heads.

Think of it: If children saw that bus, they could turn into drag queens. OMG! The “woke” ideology is stamping out good conservative discrimination and pushing the notion that even freaks have rights. What's going to happen when boys become girls and girls become boys. Who's going to do the housework? If men marry men and women marry women, who's going to have babies? And if women become men and men become women what's going to happen to our national religion—Football. God help us.

LDS Leaders to Faithful: What Would Jesus Do?
The top brass at the Mormon Church has done something mind-blowing. They are advising the faithful to vote for political candidates who are more Christlike.

Holy smokes! You're right Wilson, it's a real conversation stopper. Utah is a Red State and the vast majority of voters are Mormons who reflexively vote Republican, according to Salt Lake Tribune sports/religious pundit Gordon Monson. “It hasn’t mattered if candidates are inferior to their opponents or completely unsuitable for office. Candidates with an ‘R’ next to their name are in and whoever they are running against are out.”

OK, here's a test: when you hear the name “Sen. Mike Lee” do you think of Jesus Christ or a crypto-currency trader? When you hear the name “Rep. Burgess Owens” do you think of Saint Peter or the peddler of multi-level marketing schemes. When you hear the name “Chris Stewart” do you think of Saint Paul or a used car salesman?

Maybe church bigwigs are aiming too high. What if they just said, vote for people who aren't lying hypocrites and who put country ahead of party? You're right, Wilson, we're being ridiculous. The whole point of organized religion is to keep people from thinking for themselves, kinda like the GOP. It is, after all, for their own safety—thinking could get them into some very deep ... um, fertilizer.

Postscript—That's going to do it for another beautiful week behind the Zion Curtain, where the staff here at Smart Bomb keeps track of gerrymandering so you don't have to. Despite a recent U.S. Supreme Court ruling that Georgia Republicans are guilty of gerrymandering to keep Blacks out of office, four Utah congressmen—Chris Stewart, Burgess Owens, John Curtis and Blake Moore—say the U.S. Constitution doesn't say stink about the practice, so you can take your Utah lawsuit, fold it five ways and stick it where the moon don't shine.

They're talking about an action brought by the League of Women Voters of Utah and Mormon Women for Ethical Government that alleges voting maps drawn by the Republican-dominated Utah Legislature look like a jigsaw puzzle made by a drunk. In 2018, Utah voters approved the formation of a nonpartisan commission to draw voting maps. But it was summarily neutered by Republican lawmakers.

Tribune soothsayer Robert Gehrke reminds us that the Utah Constitution guarantees the fundamental right to vote in free and fair elections. For their part, GOP lawmakers say everyone can vote and their ballot does count—as long as it's a Republican vote. See, a one-party state works just fine. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Well Wilson, we're still stuck in the Donald Trump nightmare. Wouldn't it be nice to wake up to a world without the scourge of Trumpism—the lies, anger and hatred? So what do you and the guys in the band have that might help us transcend the hypocrisy and rancor that define our political landscape, at least for a brief respite:

'Twas in another lifetime one of toil and blood
When blackness was a virtue, the road was full of mud
I came in from the wilderness a creature void of form
"Come in," she said
"I'll give you shelter from the storm"

Not a word was spoke between us there was little risk involved
Everything up to that point had been left unresolved
Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm
"Come in," she said
"I'll give you shelter from the storm"

I was burned out from exhaustion buried in the hail
Poisoned in the bushes and blown out on the trail
Hunted like a crocodile ravaged in the corn
"Come in," she said
"I'll give you shelter from the storm"

Well the deputy walks on hard nails and the preacher rides a mount
But nothing really matters much it's doom alone that counts
And the one-eyed undertaker he blows a futile horn
"Come in," she said
"I'll give you shelter from the storm"

I've heard newborn babies wailing like a mourning dove
And old men with broken teeth stranded without love
Do I understand your question man, is it hopeless and forlorn?
"Come in," she said
"I'll give you shelter from the storm"
“Shelter From The Storm”—Bob Dylan