Don’t sweat global warming because in heaven, there is no smog 

Latter-day Saints—aka Mormons—aren't concerned about man-made climate change. Why worry if the Celestial Kingdom awaits? In heaven, there is no smog.

According to a survey by the Public Religion Research Institute (PRRI), only 10% of Mormons say they're concerned about global warming and extreme weather. Some 44% believe it's all due to that wishy-washy Mother Nature—not cows burping and fossil fuels burning.

Utah is among the reddest of red states. Get this, 54% of Mormons surveyed said they had watched Fox News within the last 24 hours. You're right, Wilson, that explains a lot. No wonder they think Nancy Pelosi is Beelzebub and Donald Trump is a direct descendant of Jesus of Nazareth.

In the U.S., less than one-third of Republicans believe humans cause climate change, compared to 83% of Democrats and 64% of independents. As president, Donald Trump erased or loosened some 100 rules and regulations on air, water and atmospheric pollution. No surprise, in 2020, 58.5% of Utah Mormons voted for Trump compared to 37.9% for Biden, according to Y2 Analytics. “This very expensive global warming bullshit has got to stop,” Trump said. Good thing that in heaven you don't need air conditioning.

Happy Valley Not Always So Happy
A news reporter's job ain't easy. They go around digging into all kinds of stinky stuff and people don't always take kindly to it.

Take Genelle Pugmire, who works for the Daily Herald in Utah County. She had the audacity to write that Orem Mayor David Young was sued for $1 million in Alabama in a case surrounding fraudulent business loans. Who does she think she is?

The mayor spent 20 minutes in a recent City Council meeting deriding the paper and its reporter. Why was she reporting bad news, anyway, when there was so much good news right under her nose? "It's just mind-blowing the disconnect,” he said. “What's going on in this newspaper versus what's going on in reality."

The Alabama court did order him to pay $1 million, but that apparently is beside the point. And anyway, the mayor says he's innocent. For reporters, blowback comes with the territory. If you dish it up, you'd better be ready to take it. But Pugmire's 31-year-old daughter wasn't taking it.

Linnea Pugmire confronted the mayor and allegedly spit on him and slapped his face. She was arrested and charged with threatening an elected official and causing injury, spitting in a person's face and assault by propelling a bodily substance. Holy moly. Utah County is often called Happy Valley—another case of bad reporting.

The Aroma of Naked Ambition
Sean Reyes, don't look back, something may be gaining on you. Hey Wilson, do you remember when Utah Attorney General Sean Reyes went to Nevada after the 2020 election to “investigate” voting issues? No, we don't know if he went to casinos for lap dances.

But he did join a lawsuit seeking to invalidate presidential election tallies in four battleground states won by Joe Biden. Apparently his real job is just too boring.

Recall when Reyes went on a “dangerous” mission undercover to Colombia with his good buddy Tim Ballard in a sting to nab sex-traffickers. It was more dangerous than the Jungle Cruise Safari ride at Disneyland.

Later, he put on a black T-shirt and went to the Sundance Film Festival looking for prostitutes. Alas, the sex was free.

Last year, he went to the soccer World Cup in Qatar to help the emir catch sex-traffickers. It would have been impolite not to watch all the matches.

Reyes also bragged he was a producer of the movie Sound of Freedom, about Ballard's sex-trafficking gig. Then Ballard was sued for alleged sexual assault. Oops. “Tim Ballard who?” Reyes asked.

Some have started to smell something funny coming from the attorney general's office. No Wilson, they aren't smelling sex, but it could be that of naked ambition—and man is it putrid.

Postscript—That's a wrap for another fun-filled week here at Smart Bomb, where we keep track of the House of Representatives so you don't have to. Well Wilson, the chaos caucus is having a grand old time, fiddling while Rome burns. The ship is sinking and Republicans are arguing over who should take the helm.

At the time of this writing, it's impossible to predict how this internecine mud wrestling will shake out. But here's one part that will go down in history: A leading candidate for the job of Speaker of the House is Ohio firebrand Jim Jordan, who was in the White House loop for the planning of the Jan. 6 fiasco and failed coup.

Imagine having the Speaker of the House—in line to become president right behind the vice president—who tried to overturn the government. It's no surprise he is an election denier and has made the case for a Trump victory many times on Fox (Faux) News and NewsMax.

Jordan does have friends in high places. Fox's conspiracy guru Sean Hannity lobbied moderate Republican holdouts to get behind the Ohio schemer for Speaker. Many in Congress, including some Republicans, can't abide Jordan because he's patently dishonest. Enumerating Jordan's misrepresentations and outright lies would take forever. But you can tell when he's prevaricating, 'cause his lips are moving.

Alright Wilson, we gotta get a theme song for Jim Jordan. He's appointed himself Grand Inquisitor calling people before his Judiciary Committee and, like something from a George Orwell tale, skewers them with innuendo and indicts them with half-truths and fabrication. So get the guys in the band and take us out with something apropos:

On the day I was born
The nurses all gathered 'round
And they gazed in wide wonder
At the joy they had found

I make a rich woman beg
I'll make a good woman steal
I'll make an old woman blush
And make a young girl squeal
I wanna be yours pretty baby
Yours and yours alone
I'm here to tell ya honey
That I'm bad to the bone
B-B-B-B-Bad to the bone
“Bad to the Bone”—George Thorogood