Drinking Reverse Kool-Aid 

Well, this is embarrassing, two of our Republican congressmen—Chris Stewart and John Curtis—are praising Dragon Queen Nancy Pelosi, otherwise known as the speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives.

Here's the thing, no matter what district Republican candidates live in, they all run against Pelosi. GOP strategists have spent 20 years vilifying her until her name is shorthand for left-leaning stuff like taxing the rich and pushing for universal healthcare—how unAmerican can you get? And the fact is she's not a man and can't be trusted and is always outflanking her male Republican colleagues—what a bitch.

So it's pretty crazy that Stewart and Curtis are praising the Dragon Queen's recent trip to Taiwan. "I thought it was actually a very important event and a very important time," said Stewart. It has irked the People's Republic of China (PRC) to the point where Dear Leader Xi Jinping reportedly has developed a severe case of diaper rash—the cure for which is firing lots of missiles over the island nation of Taiwan.

Still, given the gnarly mood of the GOP and their Trumpist base, Stewart and Curtis' praise for Pelosi could risk a serious flogging by the MAGA mob, if not the gallows built for Mike Pence. Someone must have slipped them Reverse Kool-Aid. How else can you possibly explain it?

Shooting the Moon
In the card game Hearts, one difficult but winning strategy is called, "Shooting the Moon." The Democratic Party's ploy for the November midterm elections could be called, "shooting yourself in the head."

Ordinarily in Hearts, a player avoids taking any heart-suit cards and the queen of spades. To Shoot the Moon, however, a player must take all the hearts and the queen of spades—losing so bad you win.

The Dems scheme is to give big bucks to hard-right candidates in Republican primaries because—we shit you not—they would be easier for Dems to beat in November. Gambling that GOP election-deniers would lose in the fall isn't exactly a strong bet in the age of Trump. Russian Roulette, anyone? Beyond that, it's pretty damn cynical to champion democracy after underwriting fascism.

Case in point, moderate GOP Rep. Peter Meijer, who voted to impeach Trump, was narrowly defeated by election-denier John Gibbs. The Dems spent $435,000 on ads to get Gibbs on the November ballot. That sucks, said maverick Republican Adam Kinzinger. "[D]on't keep coming to me asking where are all the good Republicans that defend democracy and then ... spend half-a-million dollars promoting one of the worst election-deniers out there."

Shooting the Moon in Hearts is risky, but not even Evil Knievel would try it in politics.

Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV
Utah statesman and former motivational speaker Burgess Owens—and 50 of his bigheaded Republican colleagues in Congress—are demanding that President Joe Biden submit to a cognitive test immediately because he's losing it and wants to pass legislation to help middle-class Americans. That's pretty rich coming from Owens, who embraces QAnon and believes Donald Trump is a stable genius.

Owens added his signature to a letter authored by Trump toady and former White House physician Ronny Jackson, known as "the Candyman." The letter tells Biden: "[Y]our moon-walk would make Michael Jackson spit up and your rendition of "Billy Jean" is an impeachable offense, you even forgot some of the lyrics..."

Remember Trump bragging that he passed his test with flying colors, repeating: "Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV."— a sure sign he was ready to deal with the pandemic, Vladimir Putin and climate change. "And they say 'that's amazing. How did you do that?'" Trump told a Fox reporter. "I do it because I'm cognitively there."

Indeed, just like Owens—who wrote a book titled, Liberalism: or How to Turn Good Men into Whiners, Weenies and Wimps—who says he will never be a wimp and will follow Trump off any cliff anytime, anywhere. Cognitively there? No doubt about it.

Postscript—That's a wrap for another stellar week here at Smart Bomb, were we keep track of Alex Jones and all those other hate mongers so you don't have to.

You're right, Wilson, Alex Jones should choke on the $49 million a Texas jury awarded the parents of 6-year-old Jesse Lewis. He was one of the 20 small children and six adults murdered in 2012 at Sandy Hook Elementary by a deranged gunman with an assault rifle.

Since 2014, over and over again, Jones insisted on his InfoWars radio show and website that the Sandy Hook slaughter was a hoax and all the dead kids were really actors. "I've looked at it and undoubtedly there's a cover-up," Jones had said. "There's actors, they're manipulating, they've been caught lyin, and they were pre-planning before it and rolled out with it." In response, some of his followers shot up the house and car of the youngster's parents, Scarlett Lewis and Neil Heslin.

Jones has made millions on hate speech and conspiracy theories, according to courtroom testimony. "Take him out," attorney Wesley Ball told the jury. "We know that everything the man said on the [witness] stand is a lie. When he breathes he lies."

And then there's Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham, Bill O'Reily, Glenn Beck, and on and on. Free speech? Really. Sonsofbitches.

Well Wilson, talk about ending on a sour note—but what's a mother to do? You're right, without bad we wouldn't have good. Let's just keep telling ourselves that. And if it's worth doin', it's worth over doin'—so get the guys in the band and take us to the dark side:

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colours anymore, I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by, dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

I see a line of cars and they're all painted black
With flowers and my love both never to come back
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a newborn baby, it just happens every day

I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door, I must have it painted black
Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts
It's not easy facing up when your whole world is black

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colours anymore, I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by, dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

I wanna see it painted, painted black
Black as night, black as coal
I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky
I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black
"Paint It Black"—Rolling Stones