Dry Toast 

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This past weekend beheld the final days and celebration of Orthodox Easter in 2022. It was hard to tell if the world was coming or going. On the one hand, there were messages of hope and renewal of the biblical order. Those took place in churches, monasteries and in the beliefs of Orthodox Christians.

On the other hand, what was taking place in the here and now, across fields and highways and meeting rooms, the messages were, let's say, a bit less biblical.

Roger Stone came to town, for instance. You may recall that Stone was granted clemency, then pardoned after being convicted of lying to Congress, witness tampering and obstruction of justice. Basically, he was finally brought to task for the slimy insider work he's been performing since the Nixon presidency. Some people are attracted to such bad humans, so here came Stone to toss his name about while endorsing Republican congressional candidate Jason Preston.

That Preston sank to the bottom of the endorsement barrel is telling and indicates right from the start that his own moral compass was not pointing to true north. He spoke about Stone in the Deseret News, saying, "Roger Stone is here to remind us who we are. God bless Roger Stone." Couldn't he just say thanks?

Preston is up to his eyeballs in brown matter thinking God is on the side of Roger Stone. The 3rd Congressional District that will be contested in November is—according to local legend—ground zero for the most righteous of Utahns, not counting Carbon County, that is. But as it encompasses much of Utah County, including the Lord's school of BYU, the district's reputation for cohesive whiteness and religion is hard to beat. Thus, when Preston asks God to bless Roger Stone, he's basically, in his mind, relaying the message via a Post-It note.

Stone himself wasn't hesitant to invoke God, either. He told a crowd that had gathered in support of Preston, "God came and told me [Sen. Mitt Romney] needs to be removed from the U.S. Senate." Well, whaddya know? Millions upon millions of people worldwide consumed in prayer on Orthodox Easter eve and here in our own backyard are two yahoos with inside connections to the spiritual heavens. God speaks to Roger Stone. Who knew?

Just saying the word "God" in the 3rd district makes one a true believer, no questions asked. Of course, when Stone invoked his attachment to God and his disdain for Romney (who famously voted for Stone's real savior, Donald Trump, to be impeached), it was clear that Utah politics had sunk to a new-level low. And that's saying something.

No sooner had Stone bonded with the very, very, most faithful and truthfully reverent people on the face of the earth than he scooted out for a cocktail at a nearby watering hole. He was also at said watering hole prior to his remarks, so let's be fair: It's very possible that Stone partook of some spiritual tonics that made him think he could speak with God. Guys like Stone get high on this stuff—the luxurious high feeling of knowing you've pulled a fast one on unsuspecting rubes.

Naturally, they drink their own poison. So, it was only a matter of time before toasts were invoked by those bending elbows with Stone. One such toast allegedly went, "God fucking bless America." Hey, who doesn't take the Lord's name in vain on occasion, right?

Forgive and forget, say I, but what about Mr. Preston and his high-on-their-horses holies living in the 3rd district? They clapped for this guy like he's a rock star. I'm really tempted to believe that such is the true makeup of Utah County and beyond—that many of them are an intolerant lot who invoke God's name when they must and mock his name when they can. It's one thing to mix the God metaphor in such a manner as did Roger Stone last weekend, and it's entirely another to become a bird of the same feather.

Jason Preston wanted Stone's endorsement? Great. He got it, and he owns it. Thus, he should post Roger Stone's hideous 50-year hideous track record on his website alongside the statement touting that he's a patriot. What kind of patriot seeks alignment with a man having the record of Roger Stone? Stone is to patriotism what elephants are to pole vaulting. Eternally cynical and manipulative, Stone evokes the opposite of patriotism, but let's face it—politics makes strange bedfellows, so they say. Politics also causes one to bend on long-held belief and principle. It's just rare to see a person go past bending all the way to breaking as quickly as Jason Preston did.

It's not the first time a Utahn fell into cahoots with blind ambition. Also on Easter eve, Utah lost former Sen. Orrin Hatch at the age of 88. Hatch was certainly ambitious and could milk party sympathies with the best of them. I never liked nor disliked Orrin Hatch (given we are somehow very distantly related), but I do wonder what America would be like today if he were our senator—not Mitt Romney, who now occupies that Senate seat.

Would Hatch have supported Trump after the 2020 election and sided with the insurrectionists as did Sen. Mike Lee? That's a question to pray—or is it prey—upon? Until it's answered, Roger Stone will have plenty of work, and Jason Preston will have lots to think about. Such as: Jason, why run website photos of your wife and daughters, yet align your family with the lascivious Mr. Stone? From one patriot to another, Jason, that's just not a good look.

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