Fueling the political divide—Burgers vs. Tacos 

Hey Wilson, did you know McDonald's—as in Big Macs—is politically divisive? Well it is, according to a new analysis by The Washington Post.

We are not making this up. Reporters scoured reports from Federal Election Commission filings that show who spent what on food. The data reveals that Republican campaigns spent 28 times more at the Golden Arches than Democrats.

And get this, Trump's campaign was responsible for 86% of GOP dollars spent at McDonald's. No wonder they're so full of gas. Pass the Alka-Seltzer, please.

The conservative campaigns also went in big for Chick-fil-A, with an anti-LGBTQ rep that it's trying to ditch. Overall, fast-food spending by Republican campaigns dwarfed Dems by 18-1, the Post said.

Hey Wilson, did you know various studies link fast food to aggressive behavior? No wonder Trump is wigging out at his rallies—he may have Big-Macitis or burger dementia syndrome.

Republicans spent more than twice as much as Democrats on barbecue. (It's the meat, stupid.) Dems, on the other hand, handily outspent Republicans on Mexican, Spanish and Chinese—a clear nod to multiculturalism.

We'll leave the discussion of DEI (diversity, equity and inclusion) for our dessert post-election analysis. But we can't forget coffee. Some two-thirds of spending at Starbucks came from Democrats while about the same share of greenbacks was spent by Republicans on Dunkin'. That might not make much sense—but in our politics, what does?

Top 10 Reasons to Buy Cryptocurrency Now!
Recently, former president Donald Trump came out in favor of cryptocurrency after being a vocal critic for years. Coincidentally—or not—Utah Republicans Sen. Mike Lee and Rep. John Curtis endorsed it, too, saying: “[D]igital currency represents a revolution in financial freedom and personal privacy.”

If the stamp of approval from these guys doesn't convince you, the staff at Smart Bomb provides these 10 items to consider:

10. With crypto, you can act rich whether you are or not. Just charge it.
9. With crypto, you don't pay taxes. The GOP loves it.
8. You can rid yourself of those clumsy offshore and Swiss bank accounts, like Mike Lee plans to do.
7. Money laundering becomes completely unnecessary, making this a great time to invest in fentanyl and crystal meth.
6. Real estate transactions are made easy in places like Russia, Myanmar and Venezuela.
5. You can start your own crypto exchange with only a little danger of going to prison. (Lawyers are helpful.)
4. The already-in-circulation Trumpcoin could be a good investment. (Think of gold basketball shoes and your children's future.)
3. Don't worry about losing your shorts in crypto, like Tom Brady and Shaquille O'Neal. Sure, the value goes up and down like a rollercoaster. But that's the beauty of it.
2. It's very easy to move cryptocurrency around. If you get it moving fast enough you can buy just about anything without ever paying for anything.
1. And the No. 1 reason to get a big load of crypto right now is so you can mess with other crypto investors before they mess with you.

Time Once Again to Hide the Homeless
It's time once again to get rid of—or at least hide—homeless people in Salt Lake City. First we gave them a big shelter. Then we tore that down and gave them three little shelters. Now we're going to repurpose those stupid things and get a campus of shelters or one big shelter or maybe a big circus-like tent with indoor camping. Maybe that could work. Officials wonder why people are always becoming homeless—and, of course, it has nothing to do with trickle-down economics or the fact that, since Ronald Reagan, more and more people choose homelessness over other lifestyles, like living in a big house on the golf course.

One reason may be bad street drugs that make people want to be poor scum, said the chairman of the newly created Homeless Independent Engagement Division, aka HIDE. Chairman Ben Dover told Salt Lake City officials the best way to get rid of drug dealers is to get rid of drug dealers. It's that simple, he said.

HIDE replaces the previous council, Help Homeless Hordes, aka 3H, that was criticized for being unwieldy. Ben Dover warned that if the city doesn't stop street drug trafficking, he'll vote to withhold state funding aimed at helping homeless people addicted to drugs. It's common sense, he said.

However, a spokesman for the mayor noted that homeless people aren't all drug users and drug users aren't all homeless. That came as a surprise to Ben Dover. “Who knew? You learn something new every day,” he said. “So why do they want to be homeless, anyway?”

Postscript—That's a wrap for another tense week here at Smart Bomb, where we keep track of election denial so you don't have to. The ballots are about to hit the blades, warns former U.S. solicitor general Neal Katyal: “There is a coming massive crisis that’s going to occur on November 5th … even if Kamala Harris wins the election, the Trump team is going to declare victory with JD Vance at his side."

Sound familiar? Trump's staff tried to tell him he lost the 2020 election, according to testimony at the House Jan. 6. Committee. Former Trump Attorney General Bill Bar called claims that Trump had won, “idiotic,” “rubbish,” “nonsense,” “crazy,” “stupid” and “silly.” Nonetheless, according to polls, about 70% of Republicans still believe Trump won in 2020 and he keeps insisting he did.

But in an April 2022 interview with a group of historians, Trump admitted he lost: "[W]hen I didn't win the election, [South Korean President Moon Jae-in] had to be the happiest ..." Trump has admitted losing on other occasions. "He beat us by a whisker. It was a terrible thing," Trump said during an Aug. 4 interview with podcaster Lex Fridman. He said it again on Aug. 30 at a summit of Moms for Liberty, and once again on Aug. 23 at an event at the southern border.

Some 1,200 people have been charged in connection with the Jan. 6 insurrection—460 of them are serving prison sentences. If you're not laughing, you're crying.

Well Wilson, we're living in dangerous, dark times. We've got alternative facts, bullshit and outright lies. Half the country is tuned into Fox and hate radio and willing to believe anything that's not on network TV. But do you ever wonder if the so-called patriots cooling their heels behind bars have had time to think things over?

You and the guys in the band must have something for them—not to mention the rest of us—Wilson, so hit it:

Shadows are fallin' and I've been here all day
It's too hot to sleep and time is runnin' away
Feel like my soul has turned into steel I
've still got the scars that the sun didn't heal
There's not even room enough to be anywhere
It's not dark yet but it's gettin' there.

I was born here and I'll die here against my will
I know it looks like I'm movin' but I'm standin' still
Every nerve in my body is so naked and numb
I can't even remember what it was I came here to get away from
Don't even hear the murmur of a prayer
It's not dark yet but it's gettin' there.
“Not Dark Yet”—Bob Dylan