Inexplicable 

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Inexplicable
When Las Vegas police responded to a call in the wee hours of Aug. 27 about someone lying face-down on the ground outside a funeral home, they might not have expected the most obvious explanation: They found a dead body amid the landscaping, with a casket nearby on a rolling cart. KTLA-TV reported that a door to the funeral home was open, and flower petals were scattered on the floor leading out of the door. Investigators learned that the body was that of a person who had been the subject of a viewing the previous day, and surveillance video showed a woman breaking in and moving the casket outside. Police arrested Patricia Sierra, 47, the next day and charged her with grand larceny, burglary and disturbing human remains; she couldn't explain her actions, she said, because she had consumed six beers and blacked out. Sierra remained in jail on $11,000 bond.

Ewwwww!
• How else do you celebrate Labor Day in Michigan than participating in a ranch dressing chugging contest? Fox 17-TV reported that Zach Orvis of Belding, Michigan, won the first-ever competition at The Harmful Roester restaurant by downing 24 ounces of the creamy delight in 10 seconds, beating 11 other contestants. "I've seen people pour about that much on their salads, so what's the difference?" Orvis said. "I don't feel sick at all." Orvis won a $100 gift card and a free order of all-you-can-eat wings every week until spring 2025.

• People in the Netherlands spend more than 900 million euros on drugs each year. How do we know this? KWR, the research institute for drinking water businesses, analyzed sewage samples. NL Times reported on Sep. 12 that the researchers looked for residue of cocaine, speed and ecstasy between 2015 and 2022 in Dutch sewage treatment plants. "We are assuming a fairly conservative estimate," KWR researcher Thomas ter Laak said. "This provides insight into the size and consumers of the Dutch illegal drug market."

Nine Lives
Nicci Knight of Newby, North Yorkshire, England, was enjoying a vacation in Turkey when her neighbors let her know they had found her cat, Ted, drowned in their pond. "I had to break the news to my husband and our four children, and we were all absolutely devastated," Knight said. The BBC reported on Sept. 6 that Knight arranged for her pet to be cremated and went on with the holiday. But four days later, her cat sitter, who had been looking after the family's other cat, called her and said Ted had just walked through the cat flap on the door. Knight realized she had "paid 130 pounds to cremate someone else's cat." After returning home, she collected the cremains, which had been labeled "Not Dead Ted." The family has not been able to trace the owner of the drowned cat; they believe it was probably a stray.

Overreaction
A man suffered two brain bleeds, multiple skull fractures and multiple facial bone fractures, Las Vegas police said, after a convenience store clerk beat him with a bat for taking too much nacho cheese sauce. On Sept. 3, KSNV-TV reported, officers were called to the store where the man was lying on the ground and bleeding. The person who called 911 asked the clerk, Myron Bullie, to call for help, but he responded, "I'm not going to call 911. He better have learned a lesson." Bullie told police he had warned the victim about taking too much cheese, but the victim said he wasn't leaving without it. Bullie is being held on $10,000 bond at the Clark County Detention Center.

The Passing Parade
On Sept. 10, as Delta Flight 295 taxied toward takeoff at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, the Airbus A350 headed for Tokyo clipped the tail off a smaller plane, the Associated Press reported. No one was injured on either aircraft, but passengers had to deplane and be rebooked on later flights. Jason Adams, who was aboard the regional jet headed to Louisiana, posted to X about the collision: "Well that was terrifying. ... Very jarring, metal scraping sounds then loud bangs. We're fine. No fire or smoke," he wrote.

Great Art
The Museum of European and Mediterranean Civilizations in Marseilles, France, is offering special visiting hours to naturists—people who shun clothing—until Dec. 9, Canoe.com reported on Sept. 2. Nude patrons will be welcome one evening a month to see the exhibition "Naturist Paradises," which is described as a "journey of discovery of the very first naturist communities, first in Germany and Switzerland, then in France," according to the museum. Although nudity is welcome, the museum will require visitors to wear shoes "to avoid getting splinters," an official said.

Wait, What?
Earlier this year, social media star and model Suellen Carey—who lives in the United Kingdom—shared her wedding with her many followers, the Daily Star reported on Sept. 12. The ceremony was unconventional, as Carey married ... herself. She called her lifestyle "sologamy"—or she did, until she recently divorced herself, even after several rounds of couples therapy. "It's crucial to know when to end a cycle," Carey posted. "Even commitment to oneself can have its challenges, such as dealing with the expectation of being perfect for yourself all the time." She said she felt lonely in her self-marriage and her own company was "exhausting." We can only imagine.

Irony
While Britain's Policing Minister Dame Diana Johnson was addressing senior police officers on Sept. 10 about an "epidemic of antisocial behavior, theft and shoplifting," someone lifted her purse from the hotel where she was speaking, the BBC reported. A member of the Home Office staff also had belongings stolen. Warwickshire Police said they had arrested a 56-year-old man from Coventry in connection with the burglaries; he was released on bail.

Police Report
Plaintiffs known only as "John and Jane Doe" have filed a $25,000 lawsuit in Florissant, Missouri, against the City of Florissant and an unknown police officer called "Joe Smith." The Does say Smith is "a sexual voyeur and predator of the worst kind," KMOV-TV reported on Sept. 11. According to the suit, Jane Doe was pulled over in February for a broken taillight. The officer asked if she had insurance and directed her to pull up proof on her phone and show it to him. At that point, he took her phone back to his cruiser, turned off the Bluetooth linked to her car, and didn't come back for 10 minutes. He didn't give her a ticket, but, she alleges, he scrolled through her photos and found intimate images that she had shared only with her husband. Jane Doe found out about his snooping when the FBI contacted her in July to ask that she identify a photo of herself that had been enlarged and printed. Agents said it was not the only photo of her that they found in the officer's possession. Jane Doe said she has been disturbed and has suffered humiliation, emotional distress and mistrust. The Florissant Police Department said in a statement that the officer is no longer employed there, and no other officers were involved.

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