It's a Dirty Job 

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It's a Dirty Job
Perhaps the stresses of HOA board membership just weigh heavily on some people. An unnamed 74-year-old woman in New Palestine, Indiana, is facing charges of criminal trespass, criminal mischief and public nudity after she was caught not once, but twice, defecating in broad daylight against the side of a neighbor's home, FOX59-TV reported. According to court documents, the homeowner was mowing his lawn on May 29 when he discovered a pile of human feces next to his air conditioning unit. His surveillance cameras had first caught the culprit on May 2, but after the second incident, he contacted police. The woman can clearly be seen in the video lowering her trousers and squatting to empty her bowels. She initially denied the act but admitted it when confronted with the evidence; she said she had nothing against the homeowner and simply had to go. She has stepped down from her position on the HOA board.

The Continuing Crisis
Edward Kang, 20, is facing a long stretch without gaming after he allegedly assaulted a fellow online gamer on June 22, ABC News reported. Kang, who lives in New Jersey, flew from Newark to Jacksonville, Florida, on June 21, where he checked in to a hotel and purchased a hammer and flashlight at a hardware store. Late on June 22, he arrived at the victim's home in Fernandina Beach, entering the home through an unlocked door, "apparently to confront the victim," said Nassau County Sheriff Bill Leeper. When the victim got up from gaming to use the restroom, Kang allegedly attacked him with the hammer. The victim's stepfather heard the altercation and helped to wrestle Kang to the ground; officers said the victim sustained severe head wounds and they found "a significant amount of blood." Kang told deputies that the victim is a "bad person online." He was charged with attempted second-degree murder and armed burglary.

How Hot Is It?
It's so hot ... Abe Lincoln's legs are falling off. A 6-foot-tall wax replica of the sculpture of our 16th president inside the Lincoln Memorial is succumbing to the extreme temperatures in Washington, D.C., the Washington Post reported on June 24. The statue was placed on the campus of Garrison Elementary School in February with the idea of drawing attention to the Civil War and its aftermath. But as the heat dome settled over the capital, he started melting. "The idea was that the ambient temperature, unless it got to 140 degrees, wouldn't melt the sculpture," said artist Sandy Williams IV of Richmond, Virginia. But "even his poor legs are starting to come unglued," observed Melissa Krull, 41, who lives nearby. Lincoln's head lolled so far backward that the nonprofit that commissioned the work removed it, with plans to restore it to its perch when temps moderated.

Least Competent Criminal
Kelsey Lynn Schnetzler, 34, of Salisbury, Missouri, was charged with stealing thousands of dollars' worth of lottery tickets from her employer, Casey's General Store, KTVO-TV reported. Schnetzler's home-court MO may have been what got her nicked: Every evening during her shift, she told police, she would put a cup over the camera and unlock the safe where tickets were stored. Her burglaries took place between October 2023 and March 2024; the 36 lottery books she stole were valued at $24,000. She cashed in winning tickets at Casey's and other locations. She was charged with felony stealing.

Pay No Attention to the Body in the Backseat
On June 22, after Margot Lewis, 32, of North Liberty, Iowa, crashed her car in Olmsted County, Minnesota, police arrived at the scene, the Des Moines Register reported. There, they discovered the body of 35-year-old Liara Tsai of Minneapolis in the back seat. Tsai was "wrapped in a bedsheet, a blanket, a futon-style mattress and a tarp," court documents said. Police said Tsai also had a "large wound on the right side of the neck around the carotid artery." The medical examiner determined that Tsai's injuries were not related to the vehicle accident. Lewis was arrested for interference with a dead body; her unconditional bond was set at $1 million.

The Tech Revolution
At Crescent Regional Hospital near Dallas, Texas, patients are for the first time in the U.S. consulting with doctors via hologram, ABC News reported on June 26. The technology, designed by Dutch company Holoconnects, features a life-sized 3D image of the doctor in real time. Raji Kumar, the hospital's CEO, said the technology will reduce doctors' travel time between hospitals and clinics. "They can just hop into the studio to have the consult," she said. She hopes to expand the program to rural hospitals in the area.

Ewwwwwwwww!
The CBC reported on June 18 that conditions at Her Majesty's Penitentiary in St. John's, Newfoundland and Labrador, have deteriorated so drastically that inmates are literally sharing cells—and more—with rats. Inmate Devon Fitzpatrick told an interviewer that he woke up one morning to the feeling of something moving in the crotch of his pants; when he reached down, he found a rat had given birth there. "Stuff like that happens on a regular basis," he said of the Victorian-era facility. "They climb on the tables, they climb up the pipes and the wires. They're everywhere." He said he's been bitten about 20 times and described other dehumanizing conditions at the prison. The government has said it's working with a company to build a new prison, but no improvements have been made in the meantime.

Redneck Chronicles
At the Walmart in Eunice, Louisiana, police were called around 3:30 p.m. on June 22 about a group of women who were fighting, KADN-TV reported. They arrested Brionka Benjamin, 38, and her niece, Makatelynn Benjamin, 20, for simple battery, but Brionka got an additional charge: When the fight began, police discovered on surveillance video, she allegedly tossed her baby into a trash can near the entrance to the store so her hands would be free to slug another woman. She was charged with cruelty to juveniles; the baby was unharmed and released to relatives.

It's Good To Have a Hobby (Horse)
Some 260 riders from 22 countries showed up to the 11th annual Finnish Hobby Horse Championships in Seinajoki, Finland, on June 15, AFP reported. We could stop right there, but why would we? Hobby horsing involves people riding stick horses through a series of jumps, intricate dressage moves and Western riding events. While hobby horsing is not recognized as an official sport in Finland, participants take it seriously. "We have faced so much bullying and judgment," rider Nara Arlin, 24, said. Even so, the sport "is growing every year," said Julia Mikkonen, chair of the Finnish hobby horse association. She notes the athleticism involved in some of the events: "If you jump over obstacles, your hip mobility has to be absolutely insane," she said. She estimates there are about 10,000 hobby horsers worldwide.

Awesome!
Fans of 1960s kitschy TV show Batman will not be surprised to learn that trusty sidekick Robin (also known as Burt Ward) has received the President's Lifetime Achievement Award for rescuing more than 15,000 pets. WTOP-TV reported on June 26 that at the same ceremony, Ward and his wife received the United Nations Association of the United States of America Humanitarian Award for their work saving 45 different breeds of dogs. The former Boy Wonder said he and his wife "want to leave this planet better off than when we found it." (We must have missed the episode when Robin found Earth.)

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