It's OK to take a break from stressful traditions and create your own 'Holiday Magic'
Small Lake City
By Cat Palmer
Holiday magic is largely made possible through the invisible labor of women, single dads and non-binary folks—and we are tired. But what I am about to say applies to all genders and all holidays: You do not need to uphold traditions that stress you out.
You are an adult, and no one is standing over your shoulder ready to scold you. You can create new traditions that you love without the stress. It's simple: If it does not bring you joy, toss it out. And if you love it, go ahead and keep it.
Last year at about this time, I noticed my normally chill spouse was stressed out because of the upcoming holidays. After we took an inventory of all the things that were raising our blood pressure, I announced that we were tossing the whole list out, along with all the traditions. My spouse was shocked, but I could see relief sweep over their faces instantly.
Now, on Thanksgiving, the only traditional holiday food prepared in our house is pie (because, in the oh-so-wise words of Homer Simpson, "Mmmm, pie."). Instead, we make food we want to eat and things we know our kids will love. Let's be honest, does anyone actually enjoy dry, bland turkey, anyway?
We have canceled Christmas—in a way. We have adult children who split their time between three houses. My teens split their time between my home and their dad's.
We want less chaos. Kids shouldn't have to worry about stopping what they are doing midday to rush to our house. We celebrate the day after Christmas. We start with brunch but have all day, because no one has to rush off. We choose quality-time over calendar-time.
We have also left toxic family behind. We do not feel the obligation to spend time with people who do not make our lives better. Life is short; I want to spend it with those who bring joy and peace into our world.
When it comes to redefining your own traditions, ask yourself: Does it need to be perfect? What do you remember from being a kid? What were your favorite parts?
One thing that does bring me joy: supporting local businesses during the holidays. Salt Lake City has no shortage of great places to shop and support this holiday season.
If you have a tip or trick that brings less stress into your holidays, I would love to hear it! Shoot me a message at comments@cityweekly.net. Happy holidays, ya filthy animals.
Small Lake City is home to local writers and their opinions.
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