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Eight unacceptable excuses for cancelling your band’s gig tonight:
8. “Our ukulele player’s head is just in a bad place right now.”
7. “We realized our band has a ukulele player.”
6. “The stupid bar won’t let us sacrifice a goat—Satan is pissed.”
5. “We can’t agree if we’re about fun rockin’ tunes, or rockin’ fun tunes.”
4. “Our singer is nine months pregnant and in no condition to do the show and her shift at the strip club later.”
3. “We specifically requested to be top-billed over ‘$2.99 Buffet,’ damn it.”
2. “There’s no way our drummer is going to be drunk enough to play by 10.”
1. “Sorry, dude—laptop won’t boot.”
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