Mitt Romney is kissing, telling and taking scalps on his way out of the Senate 

Well, he's gone and done it. Utah Sen. Mitt Romney has dropped a biography, Romney: A Reckoning and took some scalps along the way.

The genteel Mormon didn't hold back with his disgust of Sens. Josh Hawley and J.D. Vance. As for Vice President “Kiss Up” Mike Pence, Mitt didn't mince words: “No one was more willing to ascribe God’s will to things that were ungodly (read Donald Trump).”

But Mitt's alpha dog was just getting started. He castigated GOP Reps. Marjorie Taylor Greene and Paul Gosar, comparing them to morons. Yes Wilson, he really said that, so the staff here at Smart Bomb decided to ferret out more of the book's funnest moments:
—Newt Gingrich is a ridiculous blowhard who babbled about America building colonies on the moon.
—Chris Christie is a prima donna who can't tie his own shoes.
—Ted Cruz is a scary demagogue who spends a lot of time in front of a mirror.
—Ron DeSantis has odious qualities and looks like he has a toothache or undies that are too tight.
—Donald Trump is unquestionably mentally unstable, racist, bigoted, misogynistic, xenophobic, vulgar and prone to violence.

The Rolling Octogenarians
Mick Jagger is 80. Holy shit. How did that happen? Keith Richards is 79, Ronnie Wood is 76 and Charlie Watts is dead.

The Rolling Stones got together in 1962, a mere 60 years ago. Six-Zero. That was before JFK was assassinated; before John Glenn was the first American in space; and before Marilyn Monroe died.

Six decades on and the Stones have just released its 31st studio album, “Hackney Diamonds.” Think about that—31 albums. Along with The Beatles, the London rockers provided a great deal of the soundtrack of the '60s, '70s and '80s with “(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction,” “You Can't Always Get What You Want,” “Brown Sugar,” “Sympathy For The Devil,” “Wild Horses,” “Paint It Black,” “Gimme Shelter” and on and on...

They say their biggest influences were Chuck Berry and blues greats Howlin' Wolf, Bo Diddley and Muddy Waters. Of course Jagger, Richards and Wood aren't the only rock geezers still warbling. Dylan is still about, as is Paul McCartney, Eric Clapton and Van Morrison.

The Beatles broke up in 1970—53 years ago. But the Stones remain at the center of the rock pantheon—the ultimate rock band. And all these years later their new album is getting good reviews from tough critics. The last song on the album is Muddy Waters' “Rollin' Stone.” 'Nuff said.

When Government Does Nothing, Everyone Wins
You gotta love the GOP—the white party of Lincoln—because they know how to get stuff done. Everybody knows how good they are at cutting taxes for the wealthy, but there's so much more.

Republicans are really good at investigating things: Hunter Biden, Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton, the Department of Defense, the FBI. Man, do they know how to get to the bottom of stuff.

No wonder so many people in Utah identify with the GOP. They are so, so good at running the economy and work to make it even better—they want to do away with the Affordable Care Act, Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, all the wasteful stuff.

It's high time those slackers that vote for Democrats start pulling their own weight. That's why Americans in the know elect folks like Jim Jordan, Matt Gaetz and Marjorie Taylor Greene. They don't mess around.

Of course, Jordan has not passed any legislation in his 16 years in office. But look at all the other stuff he's done—he yelled at conspirators like FBI Director Christopher Wray, Attorney General Merrick Garland and Dr. Anthony “The COVID Guy” Fauci.

The stiff-necks in the Freedom Caucus, Tea Party and Trumpers say that government doesn't work and they're proving it every day. They can't even govern themselves. When government does nothing, everyone wins.

Postscript—That's it for another killer week here at Smart Bomb, where we keep track of history so you don't have to. Hey Wilson, do you and the guys in the band like history? 'Cause we're making a lot of it these days.

There's the meltdown of the GOP and an ex-president who's been indicted in four different jurisdictions. Historians, like Doris Kearns Goodwin and Michael Beschloss are licking their chops.

There still is a war in Ukraine, although the new war in Gaza is stealing the headlines. Closer to home, the 11,000-year-old Great Salt Lake is drying up and the Utah Legislature is set to pass legislation making pantsing people illegal. (They have yet to get to wedgies.)

How much pop-culture becomes history is anyone's guess. Britney Spears got pregnant while dating Justin Timberlake; the ex- of Taylor Swift's new boyfriend says he cheated; and Utah A.G. Sean Reyes insisted that he hardly knows Tim Ballard. Years from now people might ask, who cares.

A South Jordan neighborhood recreated Barbieland and went viral; Kevin Costner fans can stay at the Oakley ranch where “Yellowstone” is filmed; and Celeste Maloy, the cousin of extremist Ammon Bundy, is the odds-on favorite to win a Utah seat in Congress. OK, relax, if it doesn't get in history books then it didn't really happen—kinda like slavery in Florida schools.

Alright Wilson, we just have to close it out with the Stones for old times' sake. How often does a rock group make it to 60? So get your band out of the van no matter what condition they're in and take us down memory lane with one of the Stones' iconic numbers that's still apropos today:

Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, um yeah
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game
“Sympathy For The Devil”—The Rolling Stones