Power to the people? Forget about it, Utah. 

Giving too much power to the people is a dangerous thing. Republican lawmakers here in Zion know that. That's why, when the great unwashed passed a ballot initiative for an independent boundary commission to draw voting districts, the brethren undid it.

Can you imagine what an independent boundary commission might do? Well, they might deep-six a very important tradition here in Utah: gerrymandering.

See, gerrymandering is essential to keeping conservative god-fearing Republican brethren in a supermajority. That, in turn, stops progressive Democrats from teaching our children about Jim Crow and ongoing discrimination, allowing women to get abortions and spending a lot of money on DEI programs so women and minorities can get an even break. We could go on and on, but you get the point.

That's why GOP lawmakers jumped into action recently when the Utah Supreme Court ruled the fight for an independent boundary commission can go forward: “The people’s constitutional right to alter or reform their government is protected from government infringement,” the justices ruled.

Well that's just ridiculous. So GOP lawmakers voted to put a constitutional amendment on the ballot this fall so voters can strip themselves of their right to petition the government. Simply brilliant.

Moab: Brown Stuff Hits Blades
Hey Wilson, the Moab office of the U.S. Bureau of Land Management (BLM) spent $116,000 on 25,000 rolls of toilet paper last year for some 3 million visitors. Holy shit. That gives Ed Abbey's tag “industrial tourism” a whole new meaning.

The metrics are staggering: the Moab BLM spent $130,000 on dumpster operations and $175,000 on toilet pumping, according to the Deseret News. “The BLM strives to ensure your visit is enjoyable ...” the agency posted on X.

Abbey penned the acclaimed Desert Solitaire about his year as a park ranger in Arches National Park. Well, forget the “solitaire” part—these days it's more like Desert Megalopolis as the State of Utah's unending promotion of redrock-country parks “has basically broke them,” in the words of one Moab official. Good grief.

Utah spends millions, annually, to attract more and more tourists. In excess of 10.6 million people visited Arches, Bryce Canyon, Canyonlands, Capitol Reef and Zion national parks in 2023. Sustainability? Right.

These treasures are marketed as nothing more than commodities to be packaged and sold. Turning these natural wonders into capitalistic cash cows without regard to the environment is … well, Wilson, it stinks.

Giuliani: Steve Bannon ‘Tortured’ in Prison
Oh holy heck—this is just unbelievable. Trump's one-time strategist and moral compass, Steve Bannon, is essentially being tortured in jail—that is, he's not allowed to watch TV, said Rudy Giuliani.

Can you believe it, Wilson? No TV? “Steve Bannon is being, let’s say, tortured ... this election is about a fascist regime and Steve Bannon is prime number one victim.” The one-time New York City mayor and Time magazine's “Man of the Year” in 2001 made the comments on a radio show with Trump loyalist and underwriter, MyPillow guy Mike Lindell.

Bannon is serving a four-month sentence at a Federal Correctional Facility for defying a congressional subpoena. Giuliani has been indicted on felony charges in Georgia as a co-conspirator in a plot to subvert the election of Joe Biden. Giuliani called the indictment “an affront to American democracy.”

He also has been ordered to pay two Georgia election workers, whom he accused of fraud, $148 million in damages. Last month in New York, Giuliani was disbarred for making repeated false statements about Trump's 2020 election loss.

No Wilson, let's not even mention Trump's 34 felony fraud convictions. What a big legal mess. It just couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of guys.

Postscript—That's gonna do it for another hysterical week here at Smart Bomb, where we keep track of election campaigns so you don't have to. The next two months will test our sanity. Trump is winning. Kamala is winning. If Trump wins, the world will end. If Kamala wins, the world will end.

We spend billions on presidential elections. Recently, The Washington Post detailed how 50 mega-donors pumped $1.5 billion into this presidential campaign. Kamala Harris has raised $540 million in the short time since she entered the race. Presidential race spending could top $10 billion this year.

In the United Kingdom, by contrast, campaigns last five weeks and political TV ads are banned. Their election spending is a tiny fraction of ours. But now the question is, how are we going to stay sane until Nov. 5?

We checked with Smart Bomb's sanity expert Iona Fallwell for tips on how to keep from losing it: take up a new sport, such as pickle ball; bet lots of dough on NFL football games; read Moby Dick; start a moss garden; sign up for a class in insect taxidermy; or take up fork bending. But whatever you do, don't watch cable TV—it could kill you.

Well Wilson, those Utah GOP lawmakers are always going on about freedom. But it seems like every chance they get, they take it for themselves. Maybe they just don't get it—freedom is for everybody, including Democrats, atheists, muslims and even environmentalists. So wake up the band and give those fat cats a reminder:

Far between sundown's finish an' midnight's broken toll
We ducked inside the doorway, thunder crashing
As majestic bells of bolts struck shadows in the sounds
Seeming to be the chimes of freedom flashing
Flashing for the warriors whose strength is not to fight
Flashing for the refugees on the unarmed road of flight
An' for each an' ev'ry underdog soldier in the night
An' we gazed upon the chimes of freedom flashing.

Starry-eyed an' laughing as I recall when we were caught
Trapped by no track of hours for they hanged suspended
As we listened one last time an' we watched with one last look
Spellbound an' swallowed 'til the tolling ended
Tolling for the aching whose wounds cannot be nursed
For the countless confused, accused, misused, strung-out ones an' worse
An' for every hung-up person in the whole wide universe
An' we gazed upon the chimes of freedom flashing.
“Chimes of Freedom”—Bob Dylan