The first private club I ever entered was the old Club 39
on 3900 South. It eventually fell to make room for the
expanding St. Mark’s Hospital, but not before the club
took on other names like the One More Time Club and
Oscar’s. Club 39 was a classy place from front to back,
with patrons dressed to the nines, a raised dance floor,
oil curtains, stylish waitresses, fast bartenders, fine food
and music provided by a steady stream of Vegas-style
lounge acts. I used to visit my cousin, Joe Mannos,
who was tending bar.
I didn’t have a fake ID. I just dropped Joe’s name,
and they let me in. It wasn’t very hard for minors to
get into clubs. That was especially true of minors with
money, and Club 39 attracted the best of that bunch. I
remember a guy younger than I who drank top-of-the-line
Chivas Regal and who reserved a prominent table
every Friday night. I saw young guys light cigarettes with
$100 bills—worth $500 today. I once saw Utah
Stars center Moses Malone at Club 39 despite
the fact that everyone in Utah—cops and vice
included—knew he was barely out of
high school.
Times change. Some years ago, Britney
Spears tried to get into Port O’ Call after
a Salt Lake City concert. When told to
produce an ID, she said something like,
“Don’t you know who I am?” to which the
doorman said, “Yes, I do, and that’s why you’re
not getting in.” She didn’t get in. Chivas Regal
has been knocked off the shelf by a wide
range of even better Scotch whiskies. Club
patrons no longer store their personal
bottles in club liquor lockers. Bars
can no longer sell liquor to go. Clubs
can now advertise nearly
unfettered, and they’re
open at more normal
hours. The mini-bottle is
gone. Private clubs are
gone, too—mostly. For some
reason, a handful of current
clubs want to remain “private.”
Yeah, OK, right, uh-huh.
When I was asked to write
about the changes I’ve seen
in Utah liquor laws—again—I
wasn’t warm to the idea. After
all, for 25 years, my calling
card has read, “John Saltas: He
who hates Utah’s liquor system
and has built a tri-county media
empire just by saying so.” What
more can I say about Utah’s
dumb laws and the dumber politicians who make them? I’ve been
threatened with all kinds of monetary harm. This paper has been
condemned. I’ve been associated with the devil. You readers have,
as well. So, it’s with no particular joy that I watch the most recent
change come about—getting rid of private clubs has been the
primary issue and central theme of liquor-law critics for nearly four
decades. Trying to control people who go to clubs does not equate
to liquor control. Someone finally got the memo.
Seemingly forever, Utah has been off-target, attempting control
of everything from memberships to mini-bottles. Mini-bottles were
easily accounted for in the state liquor system. During the Club 39
era, a mini-bottle held 1.5 ounces of liquor. A double back then was
two mini-bottles, or a 3-ounce drink. With the adoption of metric
measuring, the mini-bottle held 1.7 ounces of liquor. A double was
nearly a triple. Utah made drunks as fast as it made children.
Utah took a social inclination, an adult prerogative, and
compounded it into a major heath and public-safety issue—
meanwhile, making everyone else associated with liquor liable
for the damage the state harvested. It required that when a
mini was ordered, a patron was entitled to the whole thing. If a
customer wanted what was called a “split,” a half mini-bottle
drink, the bartender usually gave the other half of the bottle to
the customer. As often as not, the customer just poured it into
their half drink, making it a full one. By avoiding long pours,
Utah basically outlawed the short pours.
If, however, a bartender kept the half-poured mini-bottle
behind the bar and didn’t label it properly, the club could be
cited for violating open-container laws. If the bartender threw
the half-bottle of booze away, he had an angry customer. If he
managed to collect half-bottles of booze all night, he could pour
newly ordered drinks from those bottles, thus cheating the
house, the state and customers, too. Some kind of control, eh?
Everything was out of control, and the people who could have
done something about it stood on their moral pillars and looked
skyward. They can go to hell. Back when I first started going to
Club 39, for instance, if you didn’t finish your drink inside the
club, or if you left at closing time, you just poured your drink into
a paper cup and headed out the door. That was clearly wrong,
but Utah’s best religious and political minds remained more
concerned with how many 10-packs of rum were sold on a given
night, how many members a private club had and what the food-to-alcohol ratio was for clubs and restaurants statewide.
The moral cops and Prohibitionists have been wrong for 40
years, and they’re wrong about the demise of private clubs.
It’s like they’re cheering for highway accidents just as Utah
enters an era of near-normalcy. Without worrying about all the
tangential waste of time—and industry fear of the DABC—that
memberships brought to the private-club era, clubs now can
concentrate on keeping minors and troublemakers out. I say that
as a hypocrite of the first order, for it was only after hanging out
in Club 39 for nearly a year that I became a bartender there on
my 21st birthday. Cheers or jeers? I can’t decide.