The American Taliban is headed to your state 

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While the U.S. has been condemning deplorable human rights violations throughout the world, the super-wackos of the so-called Republican religious right are doing their best to abolish the most basic constitutional rights of their fellow Americans.

You're right. That's hardly news.

Energized and emboldened by the toppling of Roe v. Wade, and joyfully dismissive of the pleas of America's women, these pseudo-Americans are determined to pass a passel of new laws that would further restrict our freedoms. Women's right to choose? That was just a start. From their standpoint, God's not a fan of democracy—nor women.

A rash of proposed bills, mostly from the Bible belt, could actually make it a felony for a comedian to mention body parts in a club routine if a child or adolescent is within earshot. Imagine Chris Rock, sentenced to hard labor for a couple of decades, just because one of his more tasteful jokes was overheard by a minor. Sound familiar? If these hard-right GOP nut-jobs could have their way, every comedian out there would have a Salman Rushdie target on his back.

This is Taliban stuff. It's a form of terrorism, right here at home and we must stop it in its tracks.

For normal Americans, such legislative proposals are unimaginable, but there's more coming. By 2025, if you stub your toe and utter a profanity, you may be sentenced to a couple years of hard labor. But, if you said, "Jesus Christ" as you writhed in pain, you might even qualify for the death penalty. Maybe you'll be the first to enjoy asphyxia-by-nitrogen—a newly-proposed substitute for the oft-botched lethal injections.

In a country that's clearly being wagged by its tail and held hostage by those who want to shove their idea of a god down everyone's throats, it's actually possible. Don't laugh.

Of course, it's just fine with those same saintly God-ublicans if you want to buy an assault rifle and shoot up a few seniors at their Saturday, senior-center bingo game. Totally logical—the freedom to bear arms is one that God seems to like. Besides, they were just a bunch of old folks, so we won't have to pay them any more Social Security or bear the cost of their medical bills.

While seemingly a horrific act, the evangelicals may think that mass shootings have their flip-side—a real contribution to their party's commitment to balancing the budget. Let's face it: The living require government expenditure, the dead don't. So, no harm done.

Another target of America's elected GOP radicals is, not surprisingly, the human body and sexuality. Proposed legislations include a push to remove all pictures and diagrams from high school anatomy textbooks, to eliminate any vestiges of sex education from curriculums, and to have gala celebrations where Harlequin romance novels are first spat upon, then burned in the town square.

There's nothing like a big, open-air bonfire. What fun! Open burning laws? Obviously, God doesn't care about those.

To their credit—and I have to allow them this one—these same legislators are also trying to pass tighter age-related laws on internet porn access. That's a real problem. Porn may be "educational," but it's definitely not about healthy sex attitudes nor real human relationships. It doesn't seem to have any redeeming social value, so they get a "Bravo!" on that one.

Consistent with the understanding that God created Adam and Eve with proper underwear and semi-formal clothes, the God-ublicans are also seeking to make it a crime for an art studio to use nude or semi-clothed models. Good aspiring artists will just have to guess what their subjects look like en flagrante. And it goes without saying. Even the breast-pump manufacturers will be prosecuted for having bare nipples in their instructional literature.

In addition, all future newborns will be required to wear the fig-leaf loincloths and pasties. And any U.S. copies of Michelangelo's "David" displayed in public areas will be either covered up or castrated by a specially-licensed sculptor.

The aims of the evangelicals may be intimidating, especially to women. But please don't worry. Bloomingdales and Macy's will be stocking a new line of Burkhas suitable for every climate, including a very fashionable one for lounging at the beach. And, reassuringly, the religious right is willing to maintain the status quo, though only temporarily, on schooling for women.

Outrageous? Yes, but not if you're one of those God-chosen Republican zealots who's decided it's their place to enforce a sort of Sharia law in our country. While we are appalled by the plight of women in Iran, and impressed by the brave stand of the younger generation to remove that country's leadership—or, at least, moderate its abominable laws—the religious crazies of America are looking for an unemployed Ayatollah who's willing to run on the 2024 Republican ticket. (Please forward your curriculum vitae to the GOP)

The author is a retired businessman, novelist, columnist and former Vietnam-era Army assistant public information officer. He resides in Riverton, UT with his wife, Carol, and the beloved ashes of their mongrel dog.