Eight momentous achievements to celebrate on this, the fourth anniversary of The Ocho:
8. Single-handedly introduced the numbered-list format to journalism.
7. Coincidentally, said format has also hastened the death of journalism.
6. Inspired the Pat’s Barbecue eight-meat signature sandwich, “The Ocho Choke-O.”
5. Risen to No. 3 in City Weekly’s fabricated-facts columns, behind Free Will Astrology and Private Eye.
4. Residuals have almost paid off sweet 2003 Hyundai Elantra. Almost.
3. Inspired the Burt’s Tiki Lounge eight-liquor signature drink, “The Ocho Croak-O.”
2. Sold television rights to The Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien ... in January.
1. Successfully held this space for an adult-novelty shop ad since 2006.