Utah Gov. Spencer Cox sends troops to Texas for Alamo redux at the southern border 

Two drunks are sitting on a curb. The first one looks up and says, “Is that the sun or is that the moon?” The second drunk looks up and says, “I don't know, I'm new around here.”

When it comes to issues surrounding the southern U.S. border, Utah Gov. Spencer Cox looks like he's new around here.

Recently, Cox scurried down to Eagle Pass, Texas, with a gaggle of 14 other red-state governors to stand in solidarity—and photo ops—with Texas Gov. Greg Abbott, who apparently thinks he's in a remake of the old John Wayne movie, The Alamo.

Abbott has mobilized the Texas National Guard, he says, to secure the border and, coincidentally, keep the U.S. Border Patrol at bay. Abbott says he can do that under Article 1, Section 10 of the Constitution, arguing that if U.S. authorities—i.e. President Joe Biden—don't enforce federal law during an “invasion,” states can engage in self-defense.

The Alamo? Well, not exactly. The invasion Abbott refers to is really an influx of asylum seekers—hardly like General Santa Anna's 1836 armed incursion near San Antonio. Second, the Constitution prevents states from deciding on their own if the country is under armed assault. And third, the constitutional provision that Abbott refers to was written to allow states to defend themselves until federal troops arrive.

But let's not bother Abbott or Cox with history. This is political theater—and a “B movie” at best—where facts can get in the way of a good story. If Abbott wants to be Col. Jim Bowie, that would make Cox the alfalfa farmer played by the dufus Andy Devine. “Oh my gosh, look at all them people! So this is what an invasion looks like.”

It really is puzzling what Cox thinks he could do up here in Utah about the invasion of the undocumented. Put a tariff on tacos?

But Utah Senate President Stuart Adams had a brainstorm—send the Utah National Guard to the southern border to help gird the troops at The Alamo. And so, Gov. Cox will deploy five—count 'em, f-i-v-e—members of the Utah guard and five members of the Utah Highway Patrol to the border to help fight off the invasion and show the country what we're made of here in Zion.

“Whatever is needed,” Adams said. “More than the troops, this would be a signal of unification of the states.”

Unification of the states, as in United States? The unified states fighting the ... United States? It's all rather mind boggling.

Maybe this helps explain it: South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem and Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, both Republican patriots, have suggested that civil war could be in the offing. In the past, Greene has suggested that red states and blue states should “divorce,” on account of how blue states keep shoving immoral woke stuff down the throats of red-state patriots.

Spoiler Alert: Immigration challenges are nothing new. In 2006, 2013 and 2018, bipartisan agreements were reached that included pathways to citizenship for undocumented immigrants in the U.S. and additional border security to keep others out. Each time, Republicans walked away. Funny thing, that.

President Joe Biden continues to poll poorly, particularly on immigration. It's no secret that's why former President Donald Trump instructed his dutiful servant, House Speaker Mike Johnson, to scuttle the bipartisan Senate bill that would have provided $20 billion for additional border security, as well as more funding for Ukraine and Israel.

If it were passed, how could Trump campaign against Biden's border failures? On the other hand, he'd find a way. If he were president, he would have fixed it a long time ago. But wait a second, wasn't he already ... never mind.

That immigration legislation could also screw up Greg Abbott's starring role in his remake of The Alamo and blow holes in Spencer Cox's new profile as red-state warrior and his promising acting career on “As TrumpWorld Turns.”

Postscript—That's going to do it for another white-knuckle week here at Smart Bomb, where we keep track of Donald Trump's new shoe line so you don't have to. That's right Wilson, Big Orange has come out with gold high-top sneakers, selling for a cool $399. It's the latest in MAGA-wear. Just think of all those middle-age Trump supporters in MAGA hats and gold high-tops—they'll be stylin'.

Trump will have to sell a lot of the “Never Surrender High-Tops” to cover legal fines and penalties of about half a billion—with a “B”—dollars. But if his “Wanted” mugshot T-shirts and his Trump Hero trading cards are any indicator, they're going to be hot. No Wilson, Trump's face is not on the sneakers, but they are emblazoned with a “T” and Old Glory. You're right, it's just not the same.

Speaking of gold, Trump says the U.S. would not defend western European NATO members from Russia if they don't pay their bills—2% of each country's GDP. That's pretty rich coming from a guy who is famous for not paying his bills. That said, western Europeans are messing their pants because Putin is off the rails—something he has in common with Trump—and crazy Americans could again elect the big, orange felonious gasbag as president. Are we really that stupid? Don't answer that.

Well Wilson, there are 37 weeks left until the election. That's 260 days—give or take. 'Till then, we'll be sitting on pins and needles or nail-guns wondering if Trump will return to power and get even with everyone who didn't kiss his fat ass. So get the band, Wilson, and strike up a ditty to relieve our raging anxiety and heart palpitations:

Sitting here in limbo
But I know it won't be long
Sitting here in limbo
Like a bird without a song
Well, they're putting up a resistance
But I know that my faith will lead me on

Sitting in limbo, limbo, limbo,
Sitting in limbo...
“Sitting In Limbo”—Jimmy Cliff