Utah’s Luv-Guv Cox says ‘Be nice, you Imbeciles!’ 

You want good news, well here it comes: Utah Gov. Spencer Cox made national headlines by saying on network TV that people need to start fighting nicer. For real.

As the brand-new chairman of the National Governors Association, our guv is putting heads together at Stanford and Dartmouth to get a handle on toxic animosity. Research shows that when public figures talk nicer, people in general aren't so gnarly. This comes as the U.S. House of Representatives looks more and more like the cage at an MMA smackdown, which, in turn, has made the country look ... well, like an MMA smackdown.

As part of his “Fight Nicer” campaign, Cox wants immature adults and children alike not to be like Trump 'cause he's nasty and doesn't fight nice. And get this Wilson, the Utah guv said he hopes the Big Orange Felon doesn't get the Republican nomination because he's a bad influence on Republicans and their kids who might think nastiness is normal. Cox prefers Ron DeSantis for president, but said he needs to ask the Florida governor to be a bit nicer.

During a news conference in May, Mr. Cox called members of Congress “imbeciles” for not fighting nicely and being unable to pass legislation. Then he had to apologize for being nasty and calling them “imbeciles.” Oops.

Go Big or Hit the Road—It’s Only Taxpayer Money
Hey Wilson, remember a while back when you joked that the best thing about the gondola for Little Cottonwood Canyon is that you could get good and stoned on the ride up to Snowbird and Alta? Well, the brain trust at UDOT just gave the thumbs up to the $728 million Rube Goldberg proposal and we're fairly sure they weren't stoned when they made the decision—although they could have been.

Of course, the boys over at UDOT didn't feel any pressure from Utah's tourist industry or the State Travel Council. No, no—this is no gimmick. It only looks like a ruse to draw more tourists. And really, who in L.A. or Dallas or Miami wouldn't want to ride the world's longest gondola to the Greatest Snow on Earth? It's all about packaging, Wilson.

This isn't some kind of nature sustainability thing where, as custodians, we protect the mountains to serve as a respite from our urban craziness. Wake up, this is about an industry that provides jobs and tax dollars and is in keeping with state leaders' mantra of "grow, grow, grow" and "bigger is better."

Sure, naysayers contend that buses would be less costly and more efficient, but who wants to read about a bus in a big ad in SKI Magazine or on giant electronic signs in major airports when you could see the world's longest gondola? And besides, it's only taxpayer money.

Vote for Me, I’ve Been Indicted
Yes, the circus is still in town and God knows when it will leave. It's the Greatest Show on Earth—Donald Trump fronting criminal charges as a campaign strategy. David Copperfield, step aside. “I'm an innocent man,” Trump tells MAGA crowds at rallies and anyone else who will listen. “They're coming after me to get to you. I'm your retribution.”

It's working—between March and June, Trump raked in $35 million. The twice-impeached and twice-indicted Don “The-Count-of-Monte-Cristo” Trump has vowed to destroy the Deep State, drain the swamp—again—and get the Bidens. “This is the final battle,” he sings out. “Either they win or we win.” Sorry Wilson, no jugglers or tigers or acrobats, but there are plenty of clowns.

Trump has been indicted in connection with hush money payments to a porn star and the mishandling of classified documents. Criminal charges could also come for election interference in Georgia and for the Jan. 6 attempted coup. All good things, if you're a misunderstood grifter who just got a new marketing strategy to win back the White House and avoid prison by pardoning yourself. He's Napoleon, Moses and Pretty Boy Floyd all rolled into one, shooting the moon to Make America Great Again. No Wilson, you just can't make this stuff up.

Postscript—That's going to do it for another week in Hot Lake City, where the staff here at Smart Bomb keeps track of Barbie so you don't have to. News flash: there are new concerns raised by Texas Republican Sen. Ted Cruz over the new Barbie movie and how America's favorite doll could be a communist agent. For those who have wondered whether Barbie is in on a honeypot plot to squeeze state secrets out of Ken, it's not much of a surprise—she's always wearing pink.

Meanwhile, House Speaker Kevin McCarthy had this to say: “Our men and women in the military can't defend themselves if they are trained in woke. We don't want Disneyland training our military.” Trained in woke. OMG!

To keep our country even safer, Republicans included amendments in the defense budget to get rid of diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI) training, to stop reimbursing expenses related to abortion services, and to bar health care from covering hormone treatments and surgeries for transgender individuals. Semper Fi. Remember the Maine. Damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead.

Barbie seems to be everywhere. Burger King has introduced the “Pink Burger,” with pink sauce, and “Ken Potatoes.” For real. It's only available in Brazil for now—but look for Barbie Burgers coming to a BK near you soon.

Well Wilson, Barbie is bigger than ever and controversial, too. She could be a communist and she's probably woke. It's enough to make your head spin. That's why Spencer Cox's “Be Reverent” campaign is such a breath of fresh air. Why don't you and the guys in the band take us out with a little something for the “Guv of Luv.”

Love is but a song we sing
Fear's the way we die
You can make the mountains ring
Or make the angels cry
Though the bird is on the wing
And you may not know why

Come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now

Some may come and some may go
He will surely pass
When the one that left us here
Returns for us at last
We are but a moment's sunlight
Fading in the grass

Come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now

If you hear the song I sing
You will understand, listen
You hold the key to love and fear
All in your trembling hand
Just one key unlocks them both
It's there at your command

Come on, people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now
“Come On People”—The Youngbloods