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Eight Valentine’s Day cards you don’t want to receive:
8. “In the words of Taylor Swift …”
7. “If I said you had a beautiful body, would you put it in the trunk of my car without a struggle?”
6. “B mine or I’ll C U in L, K?”
5. “Our love has grown, but I have no rhymes besides ‘bone zone’ and ‘maybe you won’t die alone.’”
4. “Did it hurt? When you fell from the pole during ‘Pour Some Sugar on Me’?”
3. “Your kisses are intoxicating—but we’re still going to have to hit the liquor store.”
2. “I said you could live in my heart rent-free … not my apartment, Amber!”
1. “Roses are red, violets are blue, our sex tape you didn’t know about is rated 94 percent on PornTube!”
Speaking of ,
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Walk of Shame, The Lego Movie
New DVD/VOD Tuesday, June 17
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Drinking-Class Zero
Following a night of drinking, Wendy Simpson, 25, walked to a McDonald’s restaurant in West Yorkshire, England, where she was told that the counter was closed and only the drive-through was open but that she couldn’t be served
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How to Train Your Dragon 2
Dragon 2 shows DreamWorks is still willing to be daring
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Hey Utah, get off of Spotify and back into local SLC radio.
Small Lake City
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Flashback 2005
In addition to then-new hits like The Office and Criminal Minds, 2005 also delivered some near-misses.
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True TV February 2025: Sci-Fi at Sea
The Rig, The Triangle, Seaquest DSV, Surface and more underwater-set science-fiction shows.
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