Whatever Happened to June Cleaver? 

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Growing up in the ‘50s was so simple. A second World War had come and gone, the post-war economy was moving forward. Television, put virtually on hold during the war years, was a new and exciting force in the world. Our WWII hero-president “Ike” was playing lots of golf and always had a smile for the news cameras; respectability and honor—though much of it was undoubtedly superficial—were essential standards for anyone seeking public office.

Margarine was being touted as the better alternative to butter. Comedians hadn’t yet discovered the F-word. Diners Club had made its debut and credit cards had begun to replace cash.

Oral contraceptives were being introduced. Polio was well on its way to being eradicated. And there seemed to be a general acceptance that traditional social virtues were the indisputable values in life.

One of the most popular sitcoms of the ‘50s was Leave it to Beaver. Watched by millions of Americans—in between the Ralsto-Purina dog food, Chrysler Motors and $99 Earl Scheib auto-painting ads—the weekly episodes about the Cleaver family’s two boys, Wally and “Beaver,” were simple, formulaic and remarkably predictable. Every week, we watched—totally enthralled—as some conflict arose in the lives of the two growing boys. And every episode ended up with a happy and positive outcome—topped off with an essential moral/ethical lesson on the easy truths of right and wrong. Goodness, kindness and family love always prevailed. Viewers were left only with a smile.

While the boys were the real focus of the show, June Cleaver became an American icon for graceful motherhood. Always impeccably dressed in freshly laundered dresses (pants were a no-no) and creating a standard of perfection, punctuated by her white-glove-upper-middle-class elegance, she always had the wisdom to know what to say and understood when it was best to leave something unsaid. While her husband, Ward, was the indisputable man-of-the-house, June Cleaver was an assertive mother, honored for her practical, well-balanced way of dealing with the family.

There were some things one would never find in the Cleaver home. Dust on the fireplace mantle? Not a chance. A streak on the living room window? No way! A crumb on the kitchen floor? Disgusting! We must note that there were no Playboy magazines stashed under the boy’s beds and, even during the show’s most emotional moments, viewers never once heard anyone say “Damn!”

Also missing was the rainbow flag flying in front of the Cleaver home. Ward Beaver never had a man on the side. June never abandoned her family to join her lesbian lover in Boston. And Beaver never approached his parents about a sex-change operation.

Some 70 years later, the world has changed—or has it? While the matters of sexual preference and gender identity were never mentioned in the scripted innocence—or ignorance—of the Leave it to Beaver series, today’s world has no exclusive on the troubling personal matters that have faced human beings throughout its history. The naïve June Cleavers of yesteryear may have been particularly unaware of the problems of childhood and maturation—particularly same-sex attraction and transgender awareness—but that’s no reflection of the timeless questions that have always faced a certain percentage of the young.

The world has gone from one of polite silence—or intentional avoidance of the issues—to one in which minority challenges and interests have been pushed to the forefront. Looking back on the innocence and naivete of the ‘50s, I’m not so sure that we’ve progressed in exactly the right way. Certainly, awareness and acceptance are values we should all embrace—everyone should be free to be proud of who they are—but it seems that the balance has shifted in an extreme way, putting all the spotlights on those who are different and forgetting those who have more typical orientations.

Particularly troubling is the media’s fixation on LBGTQ activism. There’s a distinct concern that society has created an era of extreme angst and confusion that is actually haunting and hurting even our youngest kids.

I’m very much in favor of creating an atmosphere in which children understand that not everyone is the same, that there are differences between people that may be challenging and problematic, that it’s OK to be outside of an assumed “standard” mold, and that there’s no place for prejudice or exclusion in either our laws or social framework.

Just like there is no such thing as an “average” person, human beings are all unique, and that individuality may touch on all facets of life. The concern is that, in an effort to be all-inclusive, non-judgmental and to renounce the hypocrisy that ruled an age in which anything related to LBTGQ was taboo and even criminally prosecuted, we’ve pushed children into a mode of feeling rushed to figure out just who and what they are naturally inclined to be. Finding out is absolutely essential, but children—particularly adolescents—are still in a formative and malleable state, and it’s entirely possible that forcing this on them can also be detrimental to their development.

In an age of unprecedented teen suicides, society and the media may want to reconsider how they approach the concerns of maturation, sexual identity and preference, and afford a more comfortable opportunity for the self-discovery of our young.

The author is a retired novelist, columnist and former Vietnam-era Army assistant public information officer. He resides in Riverton with his wife, Carol, and the beloved ashes of their mongrel dog.