Where are Utah’s Reps—hiding under their desks? 

This is amazing—Utah’s 2nd Congressional District representative, Celeste Maloy, and 3rd District Rep. Mike Kennedy, showed up at a town hall, defying instructions from on-high. And you'll never guess what happened: They were “booed” and told in no uncertain terms to do their f--king jobs.

The crowd demanded to know why they and their Republican colleagues were allowing President Trump to run roughshod over the Constitution and defy the courts.

“I don’t think we need to impeach the president,” said Maloy, according to The Salt Lake Tribune. “I just think we need to watch the process play out.”

Play out? Right. People are pissed. At one point, Kennedy asked officers to remove rowdy voters.

Well Wilson, you gotta give them some credit for at least showing up—the rest of the state's delegation was … apparently, someplace more important. Sen. Mike Lee, Sen. John Curtis, Rep. Burgess Owens and Rep. Blake Moore seem to lack a little something we used to call integrity. They're hiding under their desks while President Trump and Grand Poobah Elon Musk disassemble the federal government, leaving citizens and taxpayers high and dry while simultaneously alienating our allies.

We'll just have to watch the process play out, Meloy says. Don't look now, congresswoman, but you're supposed to be part of the process—you know, that old “balance of power” thing, where Congress keeps the executive in check.

Well, keep the faith, baby, and don't forget to keep voting Republican. Yeah, right.

Top 10 Places Americans Are Still Welcome
We aren't as popular as we once were, Wilson. But there still are some countries that welcome American tourists. Plan now for a vacation that could save your psyche.

10. Antarctica—Sure, it's a little nippy. But the penguins still love us.
9. Madagascar—Escape Elon Musk's savagery and take an adventure into the unknown, as 90% of Madagascar’s amphibians, reptiles and mammals exist nowhere else on earth. You'll love the fresh faces.
8. Togo—Take a break from CNN and Trumpworld and drink up the spirits of this culture rich in magical fetishes, like porcupine skin and serpent head. You'll chase away your demons and get a whole new outlook. And not to worry; no chicken blood.
7. Suriname—This disconnect-from-the-modern-world destination requires cash, a sturdy rear end and an old-fashioned sense of adventure. And no one there has heard of Musk or DOGE.
6. Namibia—Walk the Skeleton Coast, where the desert meets the sea and orange-colored dunes rise 1,000 feet into the blue sky. The snakes and scorpions are apolitical. Refreshing!
5. Qatar—Get away to the Middle East and learn falconry. It could come in handy when your Trumpian neighbors get even crazier—and falcons don't have serial numbers.
4. Maldives—Beat feet away from your angst with an adventure to the islands of the Maldive Archipelago in the Indian Ocean. It's a little spendy, but the office will never find you and neither will ICE.
3. Brunei—If you ever wanted to go to Borneo, this is your chance. The mosquitoes still love us there and malaria is one of the few things worse than MAGA politics, hypothetically.
2. Paraguay—Escape to this landlocked and backward South American country where you can compare their coup d’états to our Jan. 6 patriotic day of family fun. And they don't care if you're from the U.S. as long as you've got dinero.
1. Burkina Faso—Get far away from Trump's nastiness to this West African country originally colonized by the French. Sure, they have regular insurgencies and massacres, but they're not threatening to annex Greenland or adopt vodka as the national beverage.

Those Damn Courts, They Can’t Pull This S--t on Trump
Hey Wilson, did you know the courts are doing stuff, like trying to keep President Donald J. Trump from breaking the law? WTF! Outrageous!

After all, Trump's got a mandate to fix America, because there are too many programs for people who need them. Voters gave him a mandate to screw the rest of the world because we've been getting ripped off.

Just think how much richer we'd be if we got Ukraine's rare minerals. And another thing—Canada is the 51st state and all that lumber is really ours. We're buying Greenland — 'nuff said. And the Panama Canal is ours because of all those Central American laborers who died digging it.

But federal courts are standing in the way of The Golden Age of Trump. As Elon Musk said: “This is a judicial coup. We need 60 senators to impeach the judges and restore rule of the people.”

Just last week alone, the courts: blocked Trump’s executive order banning transgender people from military service; stopped Trump's executive order eliminating $20 billion in grants from a congressionally approved climate program; ordered the administration to restore $600 million in grants to place teachers in struggling schools; stopped Musk’s continued destruction of the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID); and required the administration to halt the deportation flights of Venezuelan migrants to a Salvadoran prison without any judicial review. Where will it ever end?

Postscript—That's a wrap for another humdrum week in Trumpworld, where we keep track of Golden Gate Bridge suicides so you don't have to.

Hey Wilson, good news: suicides are down in San Francisco since nets were installed to catch bridge jumpers. This, even with Trump as president! Since the the installation of the nets 12 months ago, suicides at the bridge are down 73%. WOW! (In Utah, if you or someone you know may be considering suicide, call or text 988.)

On a brighter note, it's springtime in the Rockies and that means anything goes with the weather. Last week, Alta got 31 inches out of one storm. Northern Utah's snowpack is now where it ought to be. Southern Utah is a different story.

Last weekend, people broke out the flip-flops. You can ski powder one day and golf the next. But don't tell Elon Musk—he could ruin that, too.

The so-called “world's richest man” isn't winning any popularity contests as he hacks down the size of the bureaucracy with all the finesse of Godzilla. Tesla sales and stock are in a free-fall, people are ditching their Teslas like a bad habit, dealerships are getting picketed and even fire-bombed. For real.

This led President Donald J. Trump to shamelessly hawk Teslas in front of the White House with a gaggle of news teams at the ready to catch his every word on what a wonderful job Musk is doing and what stupendous cars he makes. Call it symbiosis—like ants and fungi; tapeworms and dogs; and … well, you get the picture.

Hey Wilson, have you heard that Nero fiddled while Rome burned? True story. In 64 A.D., a fire ravaged Rome for six days, leaving half the population homeless. Nero is one of history’s most cruel and sadistic leaders. Not to draw on any parallels with our present plight but … if the fiddle fits, wear it.

So Wilson, maybe you and the guys in the band can take us out with something apropos that will help us gird our loins:

"There must be some way out of here," said the joker to the thief,
"There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief
Businessmen, they drink my wine, plowmen dig my earth
None of them along the line know what any of it is worth."

"No reason to get excited", the thief, he kindly spoke,
"There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke
But you and I, we've been through that, and this is not our fate
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late."

All along the watchtower, princes kept the view
While all the women came and went, barefoot servants, too.
Outside in the distance a wildcat did growl
Two riders were approaching, the wind began to howl.
“All Along the Watchtower”—Bob Dylan